Cat Skinner Club

More Sexy Role Play

Photo by Richard Northwood

Photo by Richard Northwood

It seems like sexy role play scripts are a huge hit with my readers! Your enthusiasm has inspired me, so here’s another scenario for you to try out at home. When introducing role-play, it’s important to have a trusting relationship with your partner, so you are both free to really experience the characters you are creating, and to really explore the scenario at hand. I always recommend a SAFE WORD. This is a totally neutral word, a word that has nothing to do with sex, that both partners can recognize as a pause button. The safe word can be used at any point, and you can resume play when the issue that led to the safe word has been resolved. The following role-play script can be adapted to suit any sexual preference or combination of players. 

I Was Your Teacher

The teacher/ student scenario is a classic that you can breathe new life into each and every time. The sheer volume of trashy school girl costumes available on the Internet indicate that this is a very popular role-play theme, so how can you bring this one to life in the comfort of your own home?

Costumes:

STUDENT
Female: plaid skirt or kilt, knee socks, white button-down shirt, a neck tie in coordinating colours, a coordinating cardigan, simple Mary Jane style shoes, fresh and clean under things like a white cotton bra and panty set, book bag, consider glasses, bubble gum

Male: twill pants in a dark colour, collared shirt or button down in white, tie, dark shoes, white boxer briefs

TEACHER

Male: button-down shirt (plaid perhaps), corduroy sport jacket with elbow patches, trousers, tie, glasses

Female: pencil skirt, button-down shirt or blouse, stockings, pumps, lacy lingerie, string of pearls, glasses

HAIR AND MAKEUP

STUDENT

japanesegirl sexy-school-girl

 

Female: neat and clean if your student is relatively “innocent” – pig tails or a crisp pony tail, fresh, natural makeup, subtle lip gloss or go over-the-top if your student is a “bad girl” – heavy eyeliner, dark lipstick, over-styled hair

Male: decide if your student is a good boy or a bad boy – clean cut and clean-shaven for good boy, messy/styled hair and stubble for bad boy

TEACHER

Female: subtle makeup and red lips, elegant perfume, nicely manicured hands, hair in an up-do that can easily be let down

Male: some stubble or facial hair, consider Old Spice cologne

VISUAL AIDS/INSPIRATION:

Makeup Tutorial:
STUDENT
Thank you Miss Jessica Harlow for being so darn cute, and for furnishing us with this lovely fresh, clean makeup look:

TEACHER
I love that when I search for “Sexy Librarian Makeup Tutorial” on YouTube I can actually find such a thing! EnCore is just too cute, and his extensive tutorial will satisfy you makeup junkies:

 

SETTING THE SCENE:

sexy-teacher-sensual-desire-1280x800

How have teacher and student ended up alone together? Is your student the only student in detention that day? Did the student stay after class to clean the black board brushes? Find a space in your home that you can easily transform into an imaginary classroom. Some great possibilities include an office with a desk, or a dining room with a large table. With a little imagination, these rooms can become the teacher’s office or the school library.

Decide who is going to seduce whom before creating this scenario. Teacher/student role-play is hot no matter who initiates, and the power play can go back and forth. Regardless of who is taking the lead, decide that this is the first sexual encounter between these two characters. This will guarantee maximum sexual tension.

Some Suggestions:

Consider how each of your characters feels about the scenario. Is your student happy or annoyed to be in class/ at school after hours? Does your teacher feel annoyed at having to stay with a student, or are they eager for the opportunity?

The student can play oblivious to the teacher’s advances at first, forcing the teacher to be truly brazen in their seduction. This works well too if the teacher feigns ignorance in the face of the student’s come-on.

If you are the female student, consider sitting at your ‘desk’ with your knees apart just far enough to let your teacher catch a glimpse up your skirt, and act as though you have no idea you’re flashing teach (or act like you know exactly what you’re doing if it suits your character).

As teacher, if this is a detention scenario, think of some clever punishments for your naughty student. Perhaps they have to dust and polish your desk while you’re sitting at it. Maybe they will have to shine your shoes, or spend some time on their knees filing some papers for you. You might be an old school disciplinarian and decide to hand out some corporal punishment by way of a sound spanking. See the props list below for some more inspiration.

The student may have some embarrassing/compromising contraband in their school bag that their teacher discovers and makes them use either solo or together for both to enjoy.

OTHER TIPS:

*Remember to use your safe word if anything becomes uncomfortable about this role-play scenario

*Neckties make great bondage gear

*A shiny apple could make a great ball gag substitute

*Compliment each other as you enjoy how hot you are together. Be dirty with the compliments. We all love to hear these things, believe me.

PROPS:

Wooden rulers
Apple
Black board, chalk, eraser
Desk
Office chair
School bag
Mini vibrator
Lube
Small flask or soda bottle filled with alcohol

I’d love to hear your feedback! Send me an email or share in comments below. If you have a variation of this scenario that you can recommend, please share it with us.

Send me some suggestions for fantasies that you would like to have scripted!

Enjoy the fantasy. You deserve it.

Reclaiming Mojo

mojo

There are days when I still feel like this, which in my experience, was NOT sexy.

I wasn’t going to be one of those women. You know, the ones who let their bodies go after baby, and give up on sex. Guess what? I’m still about fifteen pounds more than I’d like to be and my baby is ten months old and sex…well…let’s just say it’s a good thing there are two mamas in our house!

Don’t misunderstand, fitness and sex are still very important to me, but it seems like there’s always something that takes priority over both. Things like sleeping, and showering, and the ever-growing mountain of laundry, and writing! Once I hit that point in the evening that should be reserved for grown up things like pumping iron or pumping you-know-what I am too tired to contemplate either.

A wise woman pointed out that because I’m still breastfeeding my ten-month-old son I have a constant supply of oxytocin, so I might feel a little less compelled to get it on. I thought this made sense until I realized that I’m still craving chocolate all of the time.

I’ve deduced that I’m in a rut. This rut is fueled by some huge life changes including a baby and a big move; it’s fueled by that extra fifteen pounds that feels defeating and impossible to conquer; and it’s fueled by my total and complete lack of exercise – the classic catch 22. It’s my job to help people feel sexy, so imagine the conundrum I face in not feeling very sexy myself! I’m sharing this in the hope that it might encourage some of you to be gentle with yourselves. I, for one, am fed up with feeling guilty and sad about not feeling very sexy. I’m also done with feeling dumpy, frumpy and exhausted all of the time, so I’m going to make a promise to myself to reclaim my physical fitness and my mojo. Here are some tips for any of you who are in the same rut, with or without babies in the mix.

1. Know that it’s going to take work to make your sex life happen. You can’t just stumble in from a night on the town and go at each other with wild abandon – at least, not with the frequency you once used to. Decide how frequently you’d like to have sex each week, and commit to trying to hit that goal.

2. Go through the motions. If you’re on the fence about whether or not you feel like having sex (I’m not talking about consent, I’m talking about contexts in which you might rather opt for sleep, please don’t send me angry comments.) lean towards ‘yes’. Usually once you get the ball rolling, you’ll be happy that you did. If you start trying to get it on, and it’s not feeling right, both partners have total permission to abandon ship without penalty.

3. Take time to take care of yourself. A cocktail of hormones and a lapse in physical fitness might be making you feel less-than-sexy. You will be a much better partner, and parent, if you make time to pamper and take care of you. Women in particular are often used to putting their needs last. Let’s just quit it with that kind of ridiculous thinking, ‘k?

4. Don’t rush it. That six to eight weeks after childbirth is ONLY A RECOMMENDATION! Some of you might feel ready before then, and your particular chemical make up will make you a horny banshee. Some of you will still feel like you pooped out a flaming brick well past that milestone. If you can’t imagine having sexy times without cringing, or barfing a little in your mouth, it’s best you wait. If you’re really missing that contact, there are other things you can enjoy besides penetration. If you don’t have any ideas, email me. I’m happy to suggest some.

5. Ask for help. Try a trusted baby sitter for a few hours and enjoy some alone time. Grandparents might be very useful here, so might additional life partners (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). Rent a cheap hotel, go out for dinner, stay at home, it doesn’t matter as long as the focus is on you and your partner.

6. If you’re co-sleeping with your baby (like I am), be creative. Sex doesn’t only have to happen in bed.

7. Get your partner on board. Make sure they know you want to focus on your relationship. Get them to help with the kids, especially during the latter half of the day. Make sure bedtime is efficient, and then take advantage of your time alone. Be prepared for hiccups and try to be good-natured about interruptions from little ones. They didn’t ask to be here to interrupt our sexy times, did they?

8. Remember how we decided how often a week to have sex? Well, I suggest you reserve how ever many nights for couples time. Don’t do extra chores, don’t prepare extra meals, don’t call you mother. Focus on your partner and your relationship.

9. Turn off the TV, screen, or other distractions. Use your alone time wisely. Have a bath together, enjoy some massage, take up Tantra. Choose activities that promote physical closeness and sexuality rather than brain-sucking activities like screen time or god-forbid, chores.

10. It’s like riding a bike. Your sex life will come back, and possibly be even better than before. You know things now that you didn’t know before. Hopefully the rigors of childbirth have made you a little less self-conscious about your body. It may take some time to get back on track, but post-baby sex is just like riding a bike (on a very bumpy, hilly, sometimes ridiculous to navigate course).

You deserve to be as happy and healthy as can be to enjoy your family!

Moves You Can Use – The Cement Mixer

Image from the delicious website http://www.homotrophy.com

What’s It For: A great warm-up or slow down technique for intercourse

Who’s In Charge: The Person Being Penetrated

What You Need: A high state of arousal for both parties, lube, a comfortable surface

Ideal Position: Missionary (person being penetrated is on the bottom – on their back or on their stomach)

Note of Caution: Anyone with lower back trouble should use caution with this move.

The Cement Mixer is a great move for a slow start and a slow tease. Ideal for that moment when foreplay has taken you as far as it can and everyone is ready to explode, or when you or your partner needs a break from some enthusiastic thrusting.

To begin, this move works best while penetration is happening. If the person being penetrated is on their back, they bring their feet up so their knees are bent, and the soles of their feet are flat on the play surface (bed, etc.). If the person is on their stomach, they can gain more leverage and control by propping themselves up on their elbows.

The Cement Mixer begins by engaging the core pelvic and stomach muscles. From the “on the back” position, contract the butt muscles and tilt the pelvis up slightly. Begin a slow, circular grind with your hips while imagining that you’re massaging your partner with this motion. Imagine your pelvis moving like the barrel of a cement mixer, stirring slowly in a gentle tease. If you’re on your tummy, the same applies – experiment with the position of your knees, seeing what kind of leverage they can offer. Remember to really focus on engaging your core muscles, to ensure that you are taking any undue strain off your lower back. Contracting and releasing your PC muscles or your anal sphincter while performing this move will make it even more mind-blowing.

You’ll know when to conclude the Cement Mixer because eventually it will make your partner so crazy that they will have to return to thrusting. At this point, relax completely and feel yourself envelop your partner, guiding them gently to your sweetest spots.

You’re welcome. Have a fantastic weekend!

Ask Mommy: For the Birds

Rosie

Dear Mommy,

As a predominately (mostly? bi-and-large?) hetero, entirely feminist woman, I sometimes find it hard to find porn that appeals to me. I get turned on by watching women and men both, in pretty much any combination. My challenge is that most porn features women and men whose bodies I don’t find real enough to be attractive – by which I mean, they are overly produced, hairless, and not soft and sexy and beautifully flawed like the humans I know and love. I find that I love burlesque photos, black-and-white shots, and photos that are artistic, highly suggestive or even explicit, as long as they look believable. Photos that give you the feeling of consensual voyeurism. A few years ago, you mentioned a video porn site on your blog that I really loved that featured real women having real orgasms. I’m looking for more suggestions of great erotica, featuring gorgeous, real, fucking hot people. Pretty much a Les Coquettes show, but in pictures…with more sex.

Got any ideas?

Thanks!

B

Dear B,

If that isn’t a Freaky Friday gauntlet throw down, I don’t know what is! I was so excited to get your note, I went into overload trying to find the very best answers, because I know that this post is going to make A LOT of women happy.

My first move was to turn to one of my very sexy friends, Sonya JF Barnett, co-founder of Slutwalk and The Madame of Toronto’s Raciest Art Community, The Keyhole Sessions. Sonya has incredible taste, and she’s deeply invested in creating sex-positive, pro female erotic art. She recently won the Golden Beaver (best Canadian content) at the Feminist Porn Awards for her premiere erotic video ‘Because I Want You to Watch’. You can check out her ridiculously sexy work here.

Sonya immediately recommended Cindy Gallop’s “Make Love Not Porn” (in beta). This is a fascinating web-based profit-share where real people create and share real porn. They don’t like to call themselves amateurs, because of the implication that the only people who can create sexy porn are the pros. I particularly enjoyed Cindy’s amusing and accurate look at the ‘Porn World vs. Real World’. When your kids discover porn, and are old enough to contextualize sex in more explicit terms, this will be highly illuminating and informative for them. As Cindy says in her Ted Talk (see video below) about the influence of hardcore porn on contemporary sexuality, “Sex is the area of human experience that embraces the vastest possible range of proclivities.” The important task of being true to our own desires and needs lies with us.

B, the website featuring real female orgasm that you reference in your note is the delightful I Feel Myself. It’s a members-only site, but well worth the fee if that’s what makes you warm and tingly.

To make sure I’ve thoroughly satisfied you, I also wanted to share the information below which I first published on my sex education blog.

Photo by Andrew Blake

I like porn. The more deeply I delve into the world of adult video, the more I like the genre. It’s hard to believe that once-upon-a-time I used to be intimidated by the idea of watching x-rated movies. I think I believed that porn was only for guys, that I would feel inadequate if I watched surgically enhanced women getting it on, and that porn was degrading to women. This is true in some cases, but like all things wonderful about the Internet, with enough digging, there’s something out there for everyone. Even you, my horny sisters.

Here are some things to consider when delving into porn for the first time:

Fly Solo
Plan to be all alone the first few times you watch porn. Whether it’s free stuff you find on the Internet or a video that you’ve rented, watching solo takes any pressure off, and frees you up to explore what makes you feel good.

Bring a Toy
If you find something particularly arousing, run with it! Note which scenarios and sex acts make you the happiest. Also note the directors or performers involved in your favorite scenes.

Keep the Other Hand on the Remote
Fast forward through the boring parts. This is part of the joy of watching porn. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a feature-length adult movie from start to finish.

Visit Your Favorite Pro-Women Sex Shop
These stores are staffed with awesome people who will make you totally comfortable in asking questions. They often have a rental section, and will gladly make recommendations. Save yourself from the experience of a trashy, alienating sex shop geared towards men. There are also lots of online resources for sex-positive porn from a female perspective.

Female Directors
The face of porn is changing as smart, savvy women are stepping up to the director’s chair. Feminist porn describes x-rated movies told from a woman’s perspective, and includes real female fantasies and POV (point-of-view) shots from the female angle. Some kick-ass female directors include:

Candida Royalle, Tristan Taormino, Anna Span, Madison Young and Erika Lust

Check out this great website, Porn Movies for Women, for more recommendations.

Educational
While you’re sure to be inspired by some of the scenarios you’ll see in porn, sexual education videos can also be incredibly hot. Add some of these to your DVD library, and plan a study date solo or with a buddy.

Costume Epics
If you think that dress-up might be your thing, look for costume epics and historical dramas within the porn genre.

Plot-Driven
It’s hard to believe, but there are porn films out there that actually have decent story lines. Look for films by Candida Royale, Paul Thomas, and Veronica Hart who are all known for their story-telling abilities.

Natural Bodies
If you don’t get off on the artificial fantasy body of many main-stream porn stars, there are lots of actresses out these still kicking it au-natural. Some mainstream porn recommendations include Belladonna and Tori Black. True lesbian porn almost always features natural women. Also, good old-fashioned 70’s porn features natural bodies, including lots of bush. Consider yourself warned.

Amateurs
Check out the realm of porn created with no budget and a handy-cam by earnest, hard-working average Joes and Janes. Charming, and sometimes quite sexy.

Lesbian or Bi-curious
Curious about the wonderful world of girl-on-girl? Lesbian films, produced by lesbian artists depict realistic lesbian sex. Or, treat yourself to the high-gloss, ultra stylized world of male fantasy lesbian hardcore. Some days it’s hard to decide which is better.

Hot Men
Up until recently, men in porn have more or less served as super-sized units attached to ugly people. With women in the driver’s seat, porn actors are getting yummier and yummier. Actors Manuel Ferrara, Jean Val Jean and Mr. Marcus are popular favorites. Director Anna Span is notorious for treating her viewers to hot guys. There’s also the option of kicking back to enjoy some gay porn. Those boys rarely disappoint when it comes to pretty faces.

Porn for Couples
This is an actual sub-genre of the porn industry. You can search for this on the Internet, and lots of delicious choices will appear. Couples’ porn has something for each person to enjoy, and often depicts real fantasies shared by people in monogamous relationships.

High Art
For a highly stylized treat that looks like the pages of a fashion magazine has sprung to life and started a hump-fest, check out the work of director Andrew Blake. Another noteworthy contemporary is Michael Ninn.

Kinky
Challenge your comfort zone and expand your horizons by experiencing kinky sex from the safe distance of your sofa. BDSM (an acronym that represents the idea of  bondage, discipline, domination, and sado-masochism) and fetishistic sex come alive in ways you can scarcely imagine in the world of porn.

Free Porn
It boggles the mind to think of how much porn is available for free on the Internet. Now that you have some tips on what to look for, set aside several hours (no joke, you won’t be able to stop yourself) and check out the endless selection available at the following websites WARNING: THESE SITES MOSTLY FEATURE MAINSTREAM PORN, NOT USUALLY FROM A FEMINIST PERSPECTIVE

http://www.youporn.com
http://www.pornhub.com
http://www.redtube.com
http://www.xvideos.com
http://www.ultrapasswords.com

Let Someone Else do the Work
For the Girls is a subscription-based website that features naughty photos, video, and stories chosen for women by women. A trial membership could be a fun way to introduce yourself to the world of adult entertainment.

Read All About It
There are some great books devoted to the topic of women and porn. If you’d like to arm yourself with as much info as possible before diving in, check out these great titles:

Good Porn: A Woman’s Guide

The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn

Do my readers have any steadfast sources of great feminist porn? Share here so we can all enjoy!

Kisses on your nose,

Playboy Mommy


Bippity-Boppity-Boo-Ya

Glinda

When I was a little girl, I conjured all of the same fairy-princess fantasies of girls my age nearly everywhere in North America. I wanted to live in an ivory tower, with servants and ladies-in-waiting, and grand balls and feasts and the whole shebang. That fantasy was prominent until I saw the Wizard of Oz for the first time. Glinda, the Good Witch of the North rocked my world to the very core. I learned that not all witches were bad, that fairy-princesses could have magical powers, and that a magic wand was a much better accessory than a tiara. I decided to trade in the glass slippers for super powers instead.

Over the years, I’ve had many variations on the magic wand – plastic ones with colorful ribbons, natural ones fashioned from twigs and feathers, delicate glass and crystal ones (during my brief romance with Wicca). I no longer fancy myself fairy-princess material, but I’ve always kept at least one wand in my possession, in case there was something really mint that I wanted to wish for.

I’ve come to realize that there is only one magic wand that can make dreams come true.

The Hitachi Magic Wand is the greatest vibrator ever invented. It was originally introduced in the seventies as a personal massage tool. I have to believe that was truly the intended use, but somehow, somewhere along the way someone discovered that it delivers a truly powerhouse genital massage, and history was made.

The Wand is innocuous enough. As you can see below, it looks like a legitimate massage tool, or like a hand-blender. It plugs into an outlet, and has two speed settings: Holy Crap and OH MY GOD. This toy delivers intense vibes. So intense is the power behind this wand that masturbation gurus like the amazing Betty Dodson recommend that you add a protective cushion between your clitoris and the head of the Wand when you are first experimenting. A folded up face cloth does the trick, and you can work your way up to fewer folds between the wand and your vulva as you get used to the sensation. I’ve also read that a clean cotton sock does the trick.

The Hitachi Magic Wand became so popular as a masturbation tool that attachments were invented to heighten the experience. Silicone attachments that look like Gonzo from the Muppet Show are designed to pop over the round head of the Wand to stimulate the G-spot. They do the trick, but the Wand is also amazing on its own.

Some women have complained about the intensity of the Wand, and there are now speed-control attachments available. Imagine a dimmer switch into which you can plug the wand to vary the speed.

The Wand is a bit cumbersome, so it’s tricky for travel (though I will personally leave great shoes behind to make room in my suitcase for this bad boy). It’s also ridiculously loud. You’ll need background music if you have roommates, and whatever you do, don’t put it on the floor while it’s on if you’re trying to be discreet. It sounds like a crop duster.

Every girl should have a Hitachi Magic Wand. It guarantees that when the clock strikes midnight and your would-be prince turns into a pumpkin, you’ll still get the happily-ever-after ending you deserve. All great massages should end that way.

Playboy Mommy Recommends:

For your roomates:

For those of you who love dress up: