Even When It’s Right

I did it right this time.  I stepped into the possibility of love with all of my centres wide open. I listened to my heart and my gut. I made changes in my life to create space for this new relationship. I communicated my needs and my insights as clearly as I could. I owned my mistakes as soon as I saw them (again, I’m sorry for that alarming 3:00 am text). I didn’t hide the love I was feeling. I allowed the whole person to emerge instead of keeping them on a pedestal. I nurtured. I gave. My anger… View Post

On Love and Boundaries

My baby mama and I were commiserating about romantic relationships under the blazing noon heat of our son’s baseball game. “You need to get better at protecting your heart,” she said “You fall in love too big and too fast.” This isn’t always the case, but when I love someone, I don’t hold back. Is this foolish? Maybe. Does it open up the potential for hurt? Sure. But let’s be honest for a moment, shall we? If you have those deep feelings for someone, even if it’s the easy-to-confuse infatuation and chemical response that sometimes feels like love, does hiding… View Post

A Higher Purpose

This chapter of my life seems to be all about adaptation. Adapting to the demands of school and realizing that my entrepreneur lifestyle of week day lunches with the ladies has come to an end. Adapting to realizing the process of learning, and studying. Adapting to being a mom and a full time university student. Adapting to building space with someone who seems committed to creating space with me. Adaptation is hard. And scary. I’m not sure I’m doing a great job most days. I’m adapting to my truth in relationship. I was committed to exploring non-monogamy on my own… View Post

Was It Worth It?

My tiny apartment smells like flowers. Freesias, to be exact. They gift the most beautiful fragrance. I wake each morning to a riot of birdsong, and sometimes a light shroud of mist hovers over the tops of the trees in the ravine below my windows. I am at peace, I am filled with gratitude, and my heart is full of love. On Wednesday, Beltane, I began university full time. A seed I planted, an investment in my future. Careful steps towards a career. I’m back in my apartment, and though I managed just fine while I was out, I can’t… View Post

Nobody Told Me About This

Those of you who know me, or who have been reading these posts for a while, know that this year has been a year of recovery. I’ve learned so much about myself; what I’m capable of, what is truly important to me, what I need to feel safe and secure. I’ve built my life again from scratch. I’ve found new ways to understand myself and the people around me. I’ve even tried dating again, sort of. There was a lovely relationship that happened too soon. There were several wonderful and exciting people who didn’t quite fit. And now, well…I’m not… View Post