I’m seated at the large communal table at the biggest Starbucks I’ve ever seen. Today I shall challenge them and see how long I can linger here before they ask me to leave. My theory is that as long as I keep a cup beside me, they will not notice me for several hours. Let’s call it my office. My very noisy office filled with strangers. Against all reason, I feel good today. Calm, level, grounded. A bit sleepy, but like my cold has lifted. I feel like perhaps, just maybe, everything might be okay. There is a couple seated…
Being sick and homeless sucks. Beyond that, I’m doing okay. I’m back in the city, in a comfortable guest room at my friends’ home. They also have a dog, so my creature comforts are covered here. I saw my family last night. It was bittersweet. There’s the usual happiness and exuberance of the little ones, who are such an absolute delight, but then there is the sadness and other complicated adult emotion, which of course I expected. Expectation doesn’t make it any easier. Today I will head downtown, after a moment of silent reflection on this important day of remembering.…
I slept better last night, but woke up this morning to find that the cold I’ve been battling has won. I’m still fighting with vitamin C and hope, but I think I’ve just got to accept that I’m a little bit sick. I’m getting on the GO train shortly to head back into the city. I’ve got my own therapy appointment today with my own shrink. Tomorrow I have some medical appointments. Friday evening I have a school function for my four year old step-daughter. Sunday I have rehearsal with Les Coquettes. Monday morning relationship therapy to try to repair…
I drifted in and out of sleep, waking only once with the panic of feeling like I was having a bad dream (and that dream was in fact my own reality). Instead of being woken by my step-children, I was greeted with a tiny dog that looks like Samuel L. Jackson crash-landing on my sternum. In a flurry of slimy dog kisses and the faint aroma of corn chips I regained my bearings and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. I quickly realized that my low-carb, high protein lifestyle does not match my parent’s peanut butter and jam toast for…
Oh November, are you a self-fulfilling prophecy of suckage? Have I subconsciously turned you into the worst month, or is it just the way the universe operates? I’m typing this from the guest room at my parent’s house in Hamilton, my very first room, hoping against hope that I am in fact a guest, and not a new roommate. Today I looked my life in the eye with love and acceptance and said “You’re right, it’s not working” and then I watched as it a fair chunk of it crumbled down around me. I then moved in slow-motion through the…
