As cliche as this sounds, with New Year’s Eve approaching, I’m thinking about resolutions for the coming year. I’m proud to say that I’m generally good about sticking to the ones I make, and I think that this is because I really try to give them some thought.
One of the biggest issues that I’d like to tackle in 2010 is my inability to live in the moment. The happier I am, the more I find I’m looking over my shoulder to see what kind of bad is coming my way. In fact, I don’t think it would be a stretch to say that sometimes, hopefully subconsciously, I create problems because the peace and calm scares the bejesus out of me. I fear settling deeply into happiness in case it should suddenly come bursting apart at the seams.
Ridiculous, right?
I don’t want to allow fear and self-sabotage into my love life. I’ve been mostly successful at forbidding these things from clouding my professional life, and I’ve realized some pretty incredible success as a result. After wishing so hard for this kind of happiness, I would like to receive it gracefully, and graciously.
So, resolution number one:
I will endeavor to be present each day, and accepting of the love I am given, free of doubt and fear.
Geeez Catherine, someday’s I think you must be in my head. Get out! but leave your writing talents, I am smitten with them.