Cat Skinner Club

Unbelievably Brave

Just when I thought that WE were the coolest parents in the world, I discover this via Upworthy

I wanted to badly to post a comment telling Jazz’s whole family, especially her, how absolutely amazing I think they all are.  I didn’t bother to add a comment on You Tube because of the epic number of stupid people who hide behind the Internet to spew hate and ignorance. Here’s hoping that my post might find it’s way back to this family.

To me, this is what family should be – you stick by each other with love and support as you deal with whatever struggles you are dealt. In cases like Jazz’s these struggles are rather extraordinary, but look how positive and brave she is! You can’t feel that way without a strong foundation. Bravo all of you for leading with love, and a strong sense of how important your family is. Without question, this would be our approach if any of our kids were transgendered. Children are our greatest blessing, our deepest lessons, and our only hope for saving this world we inhabit.

Children like Jazz are miracles who force us to look deep into our hearts. She deserves nothing but love and support and nurturing, and I hope she knows that there are many more people out there who would treat her with kindness than with hatred.

This family made me really hopeful about the world. Thank you all, where ever you are.

Jazz has become an advocate for trans kids everywhere, and her mom started the Trans Kids Purple Rainbow foundation to support transgendered youth and their families.

A Tuesday Anthem

My chalkboard drawing of Brigid

My chalkboard drawing of Brigid

Hello out there.

I’ve spent the better part of today steam cleaning a vomit swamp out of the broad loom in my daughters’ bedroom, and three of the six of us have fallen victim to some mysterious projectile-puke inducing evil.

I was going to write something pithy for you today, but when I finally sat down to crack open the computer, little Noodle crawled up into my lap, fished out a boob and passed out cold, thereby trapping me where I was until he reached a state of deep sleep. I sat there, staring out the back patio door at my field and my forest, feeling amused at the realities of parenthood, and a little wistful for the time I used to traipse through High Park and my Roncesvalles neighbourhood yearning for a family of my own.

My Patrick Watson-inspired Pandora playlist spun up a tune by Mumford and Sons that I hadn’t really listened to. I’m making it my new anthem, the timing and the message were so perfect. I was suddenly able to smell spring in the fresh air wafting down the stairs from the girls’ room. Here’s the song, live, followed by the lyrics. Here’s hoping you have a vomit-free day, and that you can catch the scent of spring on the breeze, wherever you are.

Awake My Soul – Mumford and Sons

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don’t know
My weakness I feel I must finally show

Lend me your hand and we’ll conquer them all
But lend me your heart and I’ll just let you fall
Lend me your eyes I can change what you see
But your soul you must keep, totally free
Har har, har har
har har, har har

awake my soul…
awake my soul…

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don’t know
My weakness I feel I must finally show
Har har, har har
har har, har har

In these bodies we will live,
in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love,
you invest your life

In these bodies we will live,
in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love,
you invest your life

awake my soul…
awake my soul…
awake my soul…
For you were made to meet your maker

awake my soul…
awake my soul…
awake my soul…
For you were made to meet your maker
You were made to meet your maker

Last Week in Links

Photo by Gordon Parks

Photo by Gordon Parks

First Kisses, Beautiful Ladies, Heart-Wrenching Tributes and Happy Families

Happy Monday, Lovers! And Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all of my Irish friends, especially my LBGTQ Irish pals.

I’m coming down off the high of what I’m calling ‘Toddlerpalooza”. Two of our favourite families joined us for a weekend of boisterous little-boy fun. It’s also been a slow start back to school (homeschool, that is) post March Break.

My week is shaped by many variables, but here are the online snippets that spoke loudest to me last week. Grab a whiskey or a gay-friendly beer and enjoy!

First Kiss by Tatia Pilieva

If you missed this video last week, please do watch it. In fact, if you watched and enjoyed it as much as I did, please watch it again. It’s inspired plenty of parodies, and some controversy when people realized it was an ad for an indie clothing company. This video features the first kiss between various strangers, and I don’t care if these people were models or actors, even when you’re on set kissing someone for the very first time is nerve-wracking and delightfully awkward. This video is beautiful, and funny, and really, really, really sexy. Here it is, and I’ve included a link below with a great post from the filmmaker who created the piece, explaining her inspiration and defining the project.

FIRST KISS from Tatia Pilieva on Vimeo.

Here are Tatia’s words on this piece from Huffington Post:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tatia-pilieva/the-story-behind-first-ki_b_4980015.html 

 

Gordon Parks’ Showgirls at Work and Play

This Life gallery from a 1958 edition of the magazine was sent to me by my dear friend Josh. It’s eye-candy of the most exquisite and decadent variety, and captures just the kind of behind-the-scenes magic that I will miss when I retire from show biz.

http://life.time.com/culture/showgirls-gordon-parks-color-photos-new-york-nightclubs-1958/#1

 

Just When You Thought You Were Over Deadwood

I’ve tried for years to make peace with the fact that Deadwood, the mind-blowingly fantastic HBO series, was gone and would never return. Nothing I have seen in the world of television can touch this show, which is why I’m usually just fine to go without TV. I thought the hole in my heart had been filled with books, and more time for knitting, when along came this tribute from New York magazine’s TV critic Matt Zoller Seitz, which has made me want to sit down and watch the entire series for a fourth time. His compelling video essay can be found in this great write up Roger Ebert:

http://www.rogerebert.com/mzs/a-lie-agreed-upon-david-milchs-deadwood

A LIE AGREED UPON: DAVID MILCH’S DEADWOOD from RogerEbert.com on Vimeo.

 

News on the Family Front

I saw this next video posted on Facebook, and I thought the timing was uncanny. When asked why we went public with the story of our non-conventional family, my partners and I came up with the perfect response. It’s simple – we think everyone with love in their hearts and the ability to create a loving home should be able to have a family. I don’t know if the people at Honey Maid care as much about family rights. Maybe they just realize what a wealthy demographic gay families are, unlike some idiot Arizona law-makers. At any rate, enjoy this touching commercial, and some witty remarks from Slate:

http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2014/03/11/gay_family_in_commercial_this_ad_with_gay_dads_is_intensely_moving.html

 

We’re Not Brave, These People Are

Our community of family and friends, and even a few kind strangers congratulated us on our bravery for coming out publicly. I don’t think we’re even a bit as brave as these incredible young parents. Heather Walker was outraged when photos of her son Grayson James were pulled down from Facebook because they were ‘offensive’. Her little boy was born with a severe deformity, where he was missing part of his skull, and his mamma shared photos of him without his tiny little cap on. She and her husband knew that when their baby was born, they would only have moments to enjoy him, and that he was not going to survive. Still, they cherished and loved him, and then had the courage to create this incredible tribute video of his few precious hours of life. We should all cherish each moment of our precious lives, and our precious families. I hope this will inspire you the way it inspired me. I think these parents are heros because they faced such a devastating tragedy with so much grace and love.

This video is highly emotional, so kindly be your own judge about whether or not you’d like to view it.

Sending you all light and love, and wishes for a beautiful week ahead.

It’s Coming, I Promise

Okay Southern Ontario friends. I know it’s nearly impossible to believe that Spring is on the way, on a day like this when I can’t even see out the window because the snow is blowing so hard. But keep hope alive! Remember yesterday when it was 10 degrees and nearly all the snow had melted? We snatched the kids from camp and went to the playground where Mamma S snapped these gorgeous photos. A day like yesterday wouldn’t be possible if there weren’t more just like it to look forward too. Hopefully these will cheer you up, and help remind you that winter isn’t forever.

Photos courtesy of Sarah Jamal Photography

aylaspring

noahspring

hannahspring

noahspringhorse

NoodleSpringGlee

The Day We Made the News

The Skinner-Jamals - photo by Galit Rodan

The Skinner-Jamals – photo by Galit Rodan

Our family was featured in the Life section of the Globe and Mail today.  Check it out here.

I like Leah McLaren’s unbiased interpretation of  our two interviews. I wish she hadn’t referred to me as a stay-at-home-mom. I mean, in some respects that’s true, but I feel like I’m also an entrepreneur and an educator. I would have appreciated a fuller picture. I also don’t love that she lumped us in with the “orgy-obsessed swingers” and “S&M enthusiasts” who she claims are included in the polyamorous group. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all in favor of consenting adults doing what they want – I just don’t think that McLaren needed to draw that parallel in an article that I thought was supposed to be about how much we love our kids. Those who are gonna lump us in don’t need their hands held. Also, based on my experience of the world, S&M lovers and swingers can be found in two-partner hetero culture and homosexual culture. Finally, I wish Sarah would have blown off her work duties for half an hour to add a couple of her incredible witticisms to the piece. She is, after all, the boss.

Oh, and one more – I wish that she hadn’t suggested that Nekky is free to come and go “at will” between my bedroom and Sarah’s. Those of you who know us know that our sleep schedule was forged through pain, tears, metamorphosis, care, love, epic amounts of communication, and finally some truly profound self-realization and vulnerability. I wasn’t about to get into all that with a reporter. It also makes Nekky sound like some kind of iron-fisted patriarch, who calls all the shots about when he decides to lay with his women, which is kind of ridiculous. We share our sleeping time with each other carefully, and if we change plans, it’s not without a careful check-in with one other.

We did feel like the article was well written, and McLaren seems careful to not be judgemental. It was almost totally accurate, and we LOVED the photo that the paper chose to print, even if it is a bit sombre.  My sister-in-love pointed out that it’s very Wes Anderson, and I agree. In fact, I often feel like our life would make a great Wes Anderson film. The highlight of the whole “we’re-gonna-be-in-the-news”  was the incredible day we spent with the photographer, Galit Rodan. What a lovely, talented young woman! She came and hung out and Noah took such a liking to her (Noah is usually very disinterested in women who aren’t either his Mamas or his sisters). We made pizza together, played in the snow, and just let her shoot us enjoying family time. I hope she’ll let me share some of her photos here, but you should also check out Galit’s beautiful blog.

As I expected, the comments have been amusing, interesting and not terribly surprising. I’m pleased to see that there isn’t anything terribly inflammatory or rude posted thus far. We’ve had such an outpouring of support and it’s only noon. I love our community of friends and family. We’d never be as strong as we are without them.