Throw Out Those Goddamned Jeans

You know you have a pair. They either used to fit you perfectly, before life had it’s way with you and changed your shape and size, or they never quite fit, but oh how you wish they did. I’m telling you now, get rid of them. Throw out those goddamned jeans.

And while you’re at it, get rid of that cocktail dress, that tiny bikini, and anything else that you believe is a motivating factor in your health and wellness plan. It’s bullshit of the highest order, and it’s the same kind of bullshit that the media is choking us with every single day. The kind that teaches us to loathe ourselves so we’ll buy more crap that will make us better. Crap can’t make us better, friends.

The next time you have cash to spare, buy yourself something pretty (clothes, not shoes) that fits you right now, and keep on keeping on. Your reward for caring more about your health and fitness should be longevity and feeling better, and if you happen to change sizes along the way, by all means buy clothes that fit you well, but don’t under any circumstances buy into the twisted lie that you only deserve to look attractive or fashionable if you could “just be a size…whatever.”

If you are truly stylish, you should be able to pull off colour and drama and interesting tailoring no mater what size you are. If your clothes don’t fit, get rid of them. If you don’t think you can wear something until you’re a different size, you probably can’t because you won’t have the confidence to rock whatever that particular article happens to be.

Keep on the path to increased physical activity, less sugar and starch, more vegetables, less red meat and pre-packaged foods. You deserve great health, even more than you deserve pretty things to wear. Keep motivated by appreciating the increased energy you have to spend on the activities and experiences you truly love.

You stayed within your calorie count three out of five days so far this week, you got up early and exercised twice, you drank lots of water every day, but then on a lark you tried to wear those stiff-ass jeggings that claim to have lycra (lies) and by three o’clock the clasp exploded open and you cried for ten minutes in the bathroom stall at Costco. All that hard work, and you still can’t squeeze yourself into the jeans. Take a breather sister and ask yourself “Who’s the real enemy here?” Is it your baby belly, the last vestiges of your body’s miracle of creating life, or is it those goddamned, painted on size whatever jeans that can only be a size whatever in a country where people can’t count?

You know I’m right. Untuck your shirt, let the belly hang out, and find something that fits your fine ass properly. You will never  succeed if you keep knocking yourself down.


Fall Wardrobe Essentials

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I have a love/hate relationship with fall. The colours, the weather, and the fashion save me from sinking into the mire of painful personal associations with this season. The food, the harvest and the fact that both my baby boy and my eldest girl have autumn birthdays give me reason to look forward to the weeks ahead.

Something possessed me to donate most of my (admittedly kind of shoddy) fall wardrobe last year when I was pregnant, and so this year as I was looking for warmer clothing, I found myself coming up with very little. My new promise to be more thrifty required me to make some careful choices about where and how to acquire a new fall wardrobe. My seasonal blues spurred me into some serious retail therapy.

First, I took stock of what I had. The panic set in when I opened the Rubbermaid tub in the basement to search for something to wear to a baby-naming ceremony. I had nothing. Not one stitch of dressy fall clothing. I started from there. On the long car ride to the city to attend said ceremony, I shopped. My go-to place now is ThredUp, a very gently used clothing resource that currently only ships to the US. No big deal for me because we have a box at the UPS store in Niagara Falls, NY which is a short jaunt from where we currently live.

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I got twenty pieces consisting of dresses, tops and skirts for $290.00. A second visit and $250 later, I got some dressy fall clothes for the girls (three dresses each), seven work-appropriate and dressy tops for Mama S, and four sweaters and two pairs of pants for me. All of this stuff will look brand new because ThredUp is so particular about their quality control. For an additional $200 I rounded things out with a trip to good old Value Village. There I bought a full-length, mint condition, black wool Cole Haan coat for $17; a chocolate-brown Tory Burch sweater for $7; a long light beige cashmere Max Mara coat for $18; a couple of cardigans; an adorable pair of twill wide-legged denim like pants; a pair of brand new navy suede Nine West loafers that are like walking on pillows; a beautiful tunic dress, a couple of casual tops, and a hand-woven sweater. I think there were a couple more goodies in there, but I can’t think of what they are at the moment. Oh yes, three more tops for Mamma S.

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Now I have a LOT of fall clothes, and I spent a total of $740 between myself and three other people. Second-hand shopping requires patience, it’s true. I think it also speaks to a certain personality type – someone who loves color and texture and combing through a mountain of stuff to find treasure.

My search for excellent thrift stores has led me to the following excellent links: – Canadian!

And of course the old fall-backs:

Here’s my list of fall wardrobe basics:

Three dressy dresses
Three casual dresses
Two pairs of jeans, one skinny, one that could be dressed up
Two pairs of casual pants
Two pairs of dress pants
One blazer in a neutral color you will wear frequently
One crisp white button down, long-sleeved
Three blouses
Three skirts
One pencil skirt
One chambray shirt
One maxi skirt

Three pullover sweaters
Three cardigans
One lightweight casual jacket
One lightweight dressy jacket
One casual coat
One dressy coat
Two pairs of comfortable flats
Two pairs of heels
One pair of riding boots
Two pairs of dressy boots
One pair of booties
Several pairs of footed tights in neutral colors and interesting textures
One large autumn colored bag
Three fall scarves
One wooly infinity scarf

I’m sure that most people could survive on less, and of course I know I don’t need clothes to be happy, but I will be the first to freely admit that opening my closet every morning to a sea of rich autumn hues and cozy textures makes me smile. I love clothes, and I feel good about recycling. Now I just need to find somewhere to wear everything!

Here’s a link to my Fashion board on Pinterest for further inspiration:

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What Size is Sexy?

Madmen's Christina Hendricks

Dear Mommy,

I’m a 20-something female who feels sexy even though I’m well above a size 8 and have no trouble waking up beside a handsome fella. Feeling sexy or just feeling good about myself has been a constant struggle since childhood, but coming into my full-bodied adult life I now see that skinny doesn’t always mean sexy. 

A very single, very sexy guy I was talking to the other day said that short dresses and model-bodies aren’t sexy if the personality wearing them is that of a house fly, but a voluptuous woman, confident and comfortable in her own skin, can be nothing but sexy.

Ladies and gents are just as insecure as the other, so please, Playboy Mommy, do what you do best and give us a taste of what’s sexy, the unconventional way.


Ms Loves Her Lady Lumps

Dear Lady Lumps,

This note gave me pause. Have I been doing a bad job representing the women I’m hoping to inspire and empower?

So many of the photos I choose for my Freaky Friday posts feature model-types. I love fashion, and fashion photography, and want to celebrate the talented artists who shine in that industry, but sadly that industry is still in the habit of perpetuating entirely unattainable, false beauty standards. It’s no secret that very few people are actually able to be so thin by nature’s own hand, and I want this blog, and all of my work, to really resonate with everyone who visits here. It should be said that by no means do I think that only a women who can fit into a size 0 is attractive, or sexy. In fact, I think it’s truly fucked up that size 0 even exists. Why would anyone aspire to NOTHING?? I feel confidant that the rest of the real world feels that way too, and I hope that this particular post inspires an interesting dialogue here.

I’m not talking about perpetuating a society that promotes obesity either. Either end of the scale (pardon the pun) is too extreme and both need to be painted as the unhealthy, seriously physically and psychologically damaging lifestyle choices that they are. The fact is, real women come in all shapes and sizes, and even when we take measures to eat healthy and exercise regularly, a size six might even be impossible for some of us. Does that mean we should sacrifice our sensuality or sexuality? Absofuckin’lutely not. In an ongoing effort to acknowledge and celebrate every reader’s sexuality, here are some Internet finds that are for bold, bodacious, real-figured women and the people who love them.

Thank you Lady for speaking up!

Sizzling Lingerie Sites

Shockingly, this ad was deemed too risque for a host of networks. The same networks who air Victoria’s Secret ads without hesitation. Makes you think, doesn’t it? I think the gal in the ad is scrumptious.

The web is a sea of resources, but after an afternoon of careful poking around, here are some of my favorite lingerie sites for women with serious curves:

Secrets in Lace


Hips and Curves

Sites with great “plus-size” sections:

Oh Cheri

Trashy (only up to size 14)

Further Inspiration

Here are a few additional resources, tidbits, and morsels from the web:

This compelling segment from the Ellen show features four of the most popular plus-size models in the fashion industry, and some really promising words from Glamour magazine. This popular fashion magazine has made a pledge to its readers to feature a real variety of body types in it’s pages. It’s about time someone did.

The Curvy Life is a blog I stumbled on that I think is really brilliant. It’s good reading for any woman, and a really positive, beautifully laid-out site. Here’s their mission statement:

It’s The Curvy Life’s mission is to empower women to stand in the full power of their bodies and to embrace their beautiful curves, no matter the size. It’s time to create a culture of body love, so GET YOUR CURVE ON!

Plus Model Magazine is the premiere magazine celebrating and inspiring the plus size fashion, beauty, arts and plus size modeling industries. Check out their blog and subscribe online here.


Gallery of Gorgeousness

Finally, here are some smokin’ hot pics of some of my favorite buxom beauties. For more incredible beauty, check out Plus Models

Natalie Laughlin

Maggie Brown

Barbara Brickner

Crystal Renn

Kate Dillon

Mia Tyler

Toccara Jones

Whitney Thompson

Christina Hendricks

There’s so many more gorgeous curvy women in the media! Tell us who your favourite buxom babe is.