Sunday’s show was spectacular. It was exactly the kind of high-art, high-class, sexy, sultry, comedic, variety onslaught I’ve always dreamed about.
The resulting photos are phenomenal, of course, thanks to Ryan Visima. There are some really gorgeous shots of the guys and gals, but I found myself cringing at some of my own photos.
I know I’m too hard on myself, and that probably nobody else cares about my thighs the way I do. Or my tummy for that matter. In fact, I know that once the weather thaws and I can ride my bike to work every day, I will feel better in no time, but yeesh.
Why is it so hard for us to be objective about ourselves? I suppose that it might have something to do with the fact that we have back-stage access to all of the crap we carry around inside our heads.
I try not to indulge these feelings, because I think they are stupid. I do think it’s important to share the fact that I feel them though. I grew up really, really awkward. I was bookish to the extreme, with an over-the-top vocabulary, and the giant glasses to match. My adolescence was spent basically unnoticed, until I hit about sixteen or seventeen. I don’t think I’ve ever quite shaken the feeling of being a dorky kid. This is something I’m actually quite grateful for. I learned very young that there had to be other interesting things about a person, besides the way they look. I think my brother learned the same lesson.
We will always have that voice telling us “we can’t”, or “we’re not good enough”. The voice that mocks us with “who do we think we are”? As far as I can tell, in dealing with this voice, we have three choices; we can lay down in surrender to that, we can numb ourselves until we can’t hear it any more, or we can embrace it, stoke it’s angry little head, and tell it that it is loved.
I’m going to try option three for awhile. I’ll let you know how that goes.
On a side note, would anyone like to school me in the proper use of the semi-colon versus the colon? A friend told me it would be a great cure for my penchant for run-on sentences.