Sexy Role Play Scenarios Made Easy

From the Motor City series by Kyle Andrew

From the Motor City series by Kyle Andrew

Okay dear readers. When I re-launched my blog, I promised an amalgamation of all of my various writing personas. Here’s my all time most popular post from where I was writing sex advice. This particular post has had 12,283 views! Written in the spirit of adding some playfulness and spice to the bedroom, I thought of it while watching that hilarious episode of Modern Family where Clair and Phil go to a hotel bar and pretend they’re meeting for the first time. It’s a very detailed post complete with hair and makeup video tutorials and where to buy some of the props and products suggested. Enjoy!

There’s nothing quite so awesome as dress-up. Slipping into another person’s skin with your lover and acting out your fantasies is an incredible way to enjoy your sexual relationship. Most of the time, the things you need to build a really detailed scenario are already at home, or easily attainable with little expense. When introducing role-play, it’s important to have a trusting relationship with your partner, so you are both free to really experience the characters you are creating, and to really explore the scenario at hand. I always recommend a SAFE WORD. This is a totally neutral word, a word that has nothing to do with sex, that both partners can recognize as a pause button. The safe word is used at any point, and you can resume play when the issue that led to the safe word is resolved. The following role-play script is from a male/female perspective, but can be adapted to suit any sexual preference or combination of players.

The High-Priced Escort and the Client

Costumes

ESCORT:
* the sexiest shoes you own
* stockings, knee socks, thigh highs, or stocking-style fishnets
* a garter belt, if required
* super trashy panties (they should be something you’d either be thrilled or slightly embarrassed to be caught in if you got into an accident and had to be whisked away by the paramedics – um, the emergency room scenario should NOT apply to this role-playing game)
* a sexy bra
* a ridiculously short dress or skirt
* a cropped jacket or sexy coat
* a sexy top, if you want to bother with that, or if it makes you feel more confident
* a slightly trashy or over-the-top purse or bag filled with supplies and goodies
* bling – huge earrings, gold chains, body jewelry, toe rings
* fake tattoos
Note: The more detail, the better. Think about who this escort is. Is she smart and polished? Is she trashy and street-smart? Does she have a signature move, like a silk scarf she wears tied around her neck to use for bondage play later? Will she only meet clients wearing four-inch hoops? Does her supply kit contain a fresh pair of underwear that will ‘accidentally’ spill out on the table in front of the client?

THE CLIENT:
* Comfortable, at-home attire (if this is a house call)
* alternatives can include business attire (for a hotel location), club wear or upscale casual if you’re meeting at a bar or lounge, very casual if you’re going to pick up your escort/hooker on the street corner.

HAIR AND MAKEUP – ESCORT:
* Hair should be tastefully over-the-top – style it with large Velcro rollers for big, loose curls, or iron it straight and tease it slightly at the crown
* A pony tail, side pony tail, or pigtails can make great handles
* Very few men can resist a good smoky eye finished with full, glossy lips. Think high, high shine. I love MAC Lip gloss for dress-up. They are really sticky and have real staying power when put to the test. For a truly trashy look, line your lips first with a pencil several shades darker than the gloss. This is often all that is left behind, and for some reason this look makes guys mental.
* Self-tanner like Bare Escentuals Faux Tan is awesome for that fake-tan look. Don’t forget bronzer for your face too!
* Splurge and get a mani/pedi if there is time. Air-brushed French manicure and pedicure are classic

VISUAL AIDS/INSPIRATION:
Makeup Tutorial:

The commentary alone is sexy here.
Note that when she is talking numbers, she’s referring to makeup brush sizes.
Hair Tutorial:

This gal is so, so cute and she has a great on-camera personality. Here is part two:

SETTING THE SCENE:
The escort/client scenario offers lots of possibilities for play. I’d recommend trying this one for the first time somewhere relatively private, where you’ll be most comfortable. If you can play at home, uninhibited by the reminders of your “real life”, then this is a great place to start. Otherwise, the privacy of a cheap motel is awesome.
The escort should arrive on the scene to meet the client. This means if you’re at home, you may have to stage this either by getting ready elsewhere, or by texting each other to avoid ruining the surprise. The idea is to stay out of sight until you arrive at the appointment. Trust me, the anticipation and impact of that first glimpse of you properly tarted-up will do half the work for you.
Take your time getting ready, ladies. You may find that the process of getting made up and dressed up for sex is highly arousing. This scene can even be a total surprise, so long as you have a good cover for why you need an hour plus for prep. Text your man when you are at the ten-minutes-to-show-time mark, so he knows to either hide while you leave the house, or to be ready for your arrival.

Some Suggestions:
If he knows about the scenario that is going to transpire, or he knows that you’re up to something and you’re meeting in public:
TEXT: “Hi [insert name]. It’s [insert ridiculous call-girl name] from the Agency. I’m about ten minutes away and wanted to give you the head’s up.”
Instant hard-on.

If your visit is an at-home surprise:
TEXT: “Hey there. Please hang out in the [insert room in house away from the main entrance]. I’ve got a surprise, and you’ll know what to do next when I’m all ready.”
Instant confusion, and perhaps some panic, until he sees you. Then, instant hard-on.

If the client knows about the scenario, he can prepare drinks, music, and anything else he might like (cameras, towels, toys, movies, etc.). If he doesn’t, try to think ahead and include all of this stuff in your kit.

The kit should be a fully-loaded arsenal of anything or everything you might use to play out the scenario. The sky’s the limit here, really. I would advise that you only use toys that you’re comfortable and experienced with, since you’re supposed to be a pro. This scenario should play out as smoothly as possible, so trying new things in this context isn’t recommended.

When you and your kit are ready to go, slip out of the house (if you’re at home) or head to the meeting place. If you’re meeting on the street or in public, text to make sure that your client is there before you are, to make sure you’re as safe as possible.

THE ARRIVAL:
Be very gracious to your client upon meeting him. Give him your sexiest smile, delicately shake his hand, and introduce yourself with your ridiculous new name. Remember that you are working, that your job is to entirely please your client, and that you’re really great at your job.

Your client may be very sweet. He may offer you a drink, or a snack. Only take these things if offered, and make sure to take whatever is offered to you. (Assuming your partner knows about any pre-existing food allergies, etc.) The only thing that you should request is water if you’re thirsty.

Answer his questions as vaguely and sexily as you can. Don’t offer any personal details, or ask him any personal questions. If you are playing at home, and notice any family photos, do not comment on them. A pro would never make her client reflect on his wife and children. (What kind of naughty, naughty person would have a prostitute in their family home? These are the moments when role-play makes me want to giggle.)

Once you’ve established the introductions, let the games begin, taking the client’s lead. You may decide to settle up payment first, you may decide that the date is on his account (hahaha!) or you may decide to skip this part and just begin to show him your kit. Let him instruct you and remember your only goal is customer satisfaction.

Expect to perform a strip tease and/or a lap dance (you may want to practice this first because yikes!) to remove your clothes. If you aren’t asked to do this, but are comfortable initiating a strip show, then by all means, go ahead you naughty little muffin! Let the client remove his own clothes as he decides that he wants to. DO NOT remove your shoes or your stockings or any jewelry at any point, unless he tells you to.

Enjoy the ride. Both parties should try to remain in character, unless the safe word is used. When you’re ready to end the scenario, you can tag out and then enjoy each other’s descriptions of the experience. As you grow more comfortable with this particular scenario, move the location elsewhere. Costuming may have to be slightly modified for public appearance, but a new locale can pack a powerful punch for both players.

OTHER TIPS:
*If you are asked to strip or dance, take your time. Enjoy the tease.

*Clients, you may want to start out on your best behavior, but as you grow more comfortable in the scene, try to really take on the role of someone who has paid for sex, whatever this means to you. Trust that your partner will give you cues, and will use your safe word if she’s uncomfortable.

*Remove a typical, intimate act from the repertoire – like kissing on the mouth. I know, it’s so “Pretty Woman” but if it’s something you’re both used to, the tease of it being off the table will be so delicious. If your client is good to you, maybe you’ll even bend your own rule.

*Dirty talk and porn star sound effects are absolutely perfect in this scenario. The sky’s the limit here. Challenge yourself to not feel shy or self-conscious.

*Compliment each other as you enjoy how hot you are together. Be dirty with the compliments. We all love to hear these things, believe me.

*Escorts, if you bring a vibe, or if you want to orgasm, don’t try until you ask the client if that’s what they want. If they don’t want it, don’t do it. Wait to get off when the scenario has ended.

*Practice makes perfect. This scenario is so delicious, and open to so many variables. Re-visit it as often as you like. Even go so far as to set up an email address to “schedule appointments”. Really explore your relationship, and the joy of sex that is strictly about getting each other off.

I’d love to hear your feedback! Send me an email or share in comments below. If you have a variation of this scenario that you can recommend, please share it with us.

Enjoy the fantasy. You deserve it, and I hope it makes for a delicious weekend!

 

 

 

 

 

Once A Day

AyluBedford Next Wednesday, the movers arrive to pack our home in a truck and we’ll leave our life in the city behind. I’m not sure that I’m totally ready to do that.

We grow so attached to the places we call home, don’t we? This house we’ve been renting is filled with our memories. Hannah started grade one our first fall here, so much smaller than she is now. We’ve been here long enough for Ayla to move through kindergarten and into grade one herself. I laboured with Noah in this house, treading the creaking floors and writhing in our claw foot tub. We’ve shared so many meals, movie nights, weekend housekeeping parties and memories here. It was the first home the three of us had together. hannahgradeone The city has been such a huge part of my identity well before I began writing this blog, it’s hard to imagine myself not connected to it in some way. What will become of me when I no longer have over-priced cafes within walking distance, or any of those other things that I’ve come to associate with city life?

Our garden three years ago.

Our garden three years ago.

Yesterday I had some dental work done, and I hate visiting the dentist so absolutely. We tried Nitrous Oxide for the first time to help take the edge off, and it was nice, but not what I was hoping for. I was imagining more of a trip, but it really just felt like dental work after cocktail hour. Relaxing a little bit more did allow me to go on a little journey… I tried to distract myself by thinking about things that make me happy, and of all the things in my life that I enjoy, none can compare to the time spent with my children and our family. Simple moments together, doing anything, are the moments that I cherish most. As I lay there listening to the high-pitched scream of the dental tools grinding away at my teeth, I wanted to hold my baby and watch my daughters try to make him laugh. bedforddining bedfordkitchen bedfordliving Sacrificing life in the city to take stock of our business, save some money, pay down some debt, and make a new plan for moving forward will allow so much more time with our children. Our decision to homeschool will create such freedom and flexibility. If Daddy and I can dream up income streams that require all three parents to work from home, we really will be living the life we dream of – one where we can experience the wide world with our kids and work from anywhere. Each and every decision I make needs to be one that makes my family better. These decisions need to give us more time together, and enrich the quality of the time we spend. I need to make sure I’m my best self, so that I can give them my best, and so that as they grow older they will remember this time we have together and know how much they were loved. All of these things I cling to, trying to make a mark in the world – my writing, my performing – none of them are as important as the mark I make on my children. This morning, I carried my computer upstairs from the breakfast table to my room so I could get some quiet work done. A quarter into this post, I got stuck, knowing what I wanted to say but not sure how to frame it. I distracted myself by sending an overdue email to my theatre troupe, and then Nekky came with a soft knock at my door. He showed me this video, and it said everything I’d been trying to say. Life does not begin after we’ve paid off a credit card. Life is not when we get that job we’ve been dreaming of. Life is not when we’ve saved enough, or when we can finally take off and travel. Our life is now. Noisy breakfast tables, nap times with grandma, towers of boxes packed with memories, sleepless nights, feverish toddlers, sticky fingers and homemade popsicles. My home will be rich and rewarding no matter where it is as long as the five people I love the most are in it with me. Our memories are made every second of each day, and the greatest thing we can do for our children and ourselves is remember that at least once a day. Thanks Daddy, and Stephen for the beautiful reminder today.


[/one_fourth]

Ten Things I’ll Miss About the City

Guess how many boxes I packed yesterday? None. Not a single box. I did however spend the entire day with Aylu and The Noodle, and half the day with Hannu. We hit the playground, grabbed some tacos, and then Ayla and I hiked home from Bloor and Christie making a few shopping stops along the way.

I have totally taken for granted how easy it is to just pop the baby in the stroller and go and see things. Soon we’ll only be walking along our country road, looking for interesting road kill and wildflowers that I might not be allergic to. I’m really starting to realize how many things I’m going to miss about living in the city. Here’s an overview of the ten things I’ll miss most about living in Toronto.

elasador

  1. Tacos El Asador – This tiny, sweaty little joint is on the north side of Bloor just east of Christie. It’s so typical of Toronto that the best place for Mexican is in Little Korea. The food is cheap, the beer is cold, and the place is never empty. Also, Smokey who has worked there for 15 years is the only stranger who can currently grab Noah out of our arms and not make him scream. Check out the great blogTO review here.

dufferin_grove_0014

  1. Dufferin Grove Park – If you are easily offended by vegans who smell like garlic, women who don’t shave their armpits, or families with same-sex parents, DO NOT go to this park. If you would like to sit under the shade of massive old trees and watch your children frolic in an epic, community-run playground while you graze on healthy snacks prepared by the local volunteers you need this park. I will so miss being able to go to a playground where Ayla can yell, “They’re BOTH my mom, and that’s my DAD!” and nobody will raise an eyebrow. Also, did you know that patchouli is a natural insect repellent? It even repelled Daddy before he got used to it. This photo is from the darling and informative Neighbourhood Walks blog found here.

a-homeless-woman-with-her-cat

  1. The Toronto Public Library – Sure there’s a lady who smells like cheese sitting under a pile of dubiously stained granny square afghans who always threatens to pinch my baby, and yes, the old Asian man is asleep and not dead on that stack of periodicals, but I will miss my local library. The St. Catharine’s Library branches might be pristine and filled with fresh flowers, but I doubt they will have the same kind of selection available in Toronto. I also doubt they will have anyone hiding in the back of the cookbooks stack talking softly to their pet ferret.
  1. Walks At Dusk – I love talking walks through city neighbourhoods just before sunset. This is a lovely thing to do any time of the year, but summer is my favourite because all of the gardens are in bloom and the fragrance is magical.
  1. Free Stuff to Do – There’s a seemingly endless stream of awesome and free summer events and festivals in Toronto. We didn’t take advantage of this nearly enough and now we’re stuck with the St. Catharine’s summer concert series which includes the Walter Ostanek Polka Band.
  1. Fiesta Farms – Long before Whole Foods farted up it’s quinoa scented obnoxiousness in Yorkville, there was Fiesta Farms, an independent grocery and nursery specializing in organic foods and healthy food choices. You can buy groceries for less than a month’s rent, and you can be sure to run into at least one of the families from the local Waldorf School.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

  1. Pride – True I haven’t gone to a Gay Pride event in years, but I love that our city has a massive week-long celebration of our LGBTQ community that has become a tourist attraction. Woah, wait! What’s this? PRIDE NIAGARA? Oh yessss!
  1. The Restaurants – There is a truly ridiculous number of great restaurants in Toronto, and an incredible variety of cuisine. Daddy assures me that there are some incredible restaurants in Niagara and Fort Erie, so I suppose I will look forward to the adventure of culinary exploration. If you can recommend anything, do let me know.
  1. Shops – I don’t shop in them, but I do like to browse. I’ll miss all of the quirky storefronts, particularly in Queen West. I really dislike shopping in the mall, and that’s basically all I’m left with in Niagara. I’ll have to sniff out all of the antiques markets and thrift shops in the area.
  1. Ethnicity – I know Niagara won’t necessarily be totally WASPy, but I will certainly miss having entire neighbourhoods of ethnic variety to enjoy. I can’t imagine a world without the PAT market in Little Korea, or the Mexican grocery store on Dufferin, or the Danforth, or…Oh god, what if they don’t have pho in Niagara?

Mommy’s To-Do List – Week of June 17

Neon Toes

Ayla’s Neon Toes

Weekend Highlights

My favorite moments of this weekend are split evenly between events on both Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday we spent a wonderful day being spoiled by Mama S’ mom, the kids’ Nana. She took us mamas and The Noodle out for lunch in the afternoon while the girls were at Muslim school, and then treated all of us to pedicures once the girls returned home! I haven’t had a pro give me a pedi since well before my pregnancy, and the girls had never had one at all, so it was a wonderful treat.

A little girl at the nail salon getting a pedicure

A little girl at the nail salon getting a pedicure

On Sunday we spent the whole day working together to continue with packing up the kitchen. Even the kids helped. We then enjoyed dinner together on our roof top patio. I think this space has been sorely underused in our time here. H & A build themselves an eating fort out of the awesome fort building kit they got for Christmas. This fort kit is one of the girls most-used toys. It’s a simple box of sticks that fit into little balls, and you build a structure that you then lay a sheet over. Mama S shot some beautiful pics of our happy monkeys with their dad.

A father poses with his three children

One of my favorite pictures ever.

VIP Tasks this Week

The Yard Sale!
Getting ready for Saturday’s yard sale is at the top of the list this week.

I need to finish purging the rest of the house to see what else we can sell

I also need to sort and price all of our items for sale, and take stock of everything we have to sell to decide how to lay it all out

I need to list the yard sale various places online. Where do people look for yard sale information?

It will be great help to have the girls making signs, pricing toys, designing lemonade stands, etc.

Maybe Mama S can bake her killer chocolate chip cookies to sell too!

Oh, and Daddy could build a cheery yard sale play list to attract customers.

We need to remind the neighbours that they very kindly are lending us their driveway, and we need to get them a parking pass.

I’ll need to hit the bank for change and small bills.

Yard sale people, what am I forgetting here??

 

Personal Goals

I want to get as much packing done as I can with a rambunctious baby who just wants to crawl and climb on everything, plus two little girls who may be good helpers, or may decide to try to kill each other.

I want to try to manage the incredible stress of moving with humor and grace. This is going to continue to be very challenging, I think.

I want to continue to post every day! You can’t imagine how hard this can be! I’m so grateful that my partners are so supportive and happy to wrangle Noah as required to help me carve out some writing time. I think I’m getting to the point where I’m going to need to map out posts ahead of time and just write in chunks to make sure the week is covered off. That in itself is very exciting.

 

Things to Look Forward To

Hanging With the Girls!

It’s their first week off from school, and I’d like to have some fun in the midst of all the hard work we have ahead. I’m sure there’s some emotional impact from leaving their friends behind and from watching us pack up their home (even though they seem relatively okay), so I need to keep that in mind, and tend to it accordingly. I think we’ll hit the JCC pool, Dufferin Grove Park, Smock, and probably our neighbourhood park before the week is done.

Patrick Watson!

Free concert on Thursday night for the Luminato festival! Now we just have to decide whether or not to bring the kids. I think it would be awesome to take them, and the stage is outdoors. Details are here for those of you who are fans.

The Yard Sale!

This could be super stressful, but I think it will likely be super fun if I can keep my head on straight. Usually the secret to my Zen state is to have the Noodle with me. Looks like I’ll be wearing him a lot that day, though Grandmere will be on hand to help too. Things really get done when the grandmas are around.

Happy Birthday Henry Hind!

I can’t believe that it’s been a whole year already since one of my besties had his first kid. We’re going to head from the yard sale to the birthday party on Saturday with the last ounce of energy left. They have a beautiful backyard, so it will be a great chance for the kids to blow off some steam after the yard sale.

How does your week look? I hope it’s productive, and filled with opportunities for fun and great photo ops. I’m always saved by list-making and planning ahead, and I’ve learned to add some me time to the to-do list too. I hope it’s a beautiful week!

 

Kisses on your nose,

Mommy

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Father’s Day!

A father and infant son

Dear Readers,

My children have the best father in the world, and today I want to share exactly how awesome our Nekky is.

He’s the perfect blend of playful and firm. He leads with a fun-loving foot, and is quick to guide and teach with patience and love. Seeing the smiles of his children is his greatest joy each day, and each night he tucks them in to bed with a prayer and a kiss.

Everything I aspire to as a parent is modeled with ease by him. He treats our children with the utmost respect, patiently listening to them, empathizing with them, and showing them how much they are valued at every moment. Even if he has to raise his voice or be more stern, he follows this tone immediately with a hug and a very obvious demonstration of love and affection.

He can negotiate through the most extreme tantrums, soothe and quiet the most heart-wrenching bout of sobs and create the most riotous bursts of sheer delight. He’s the parent the children run to if they have a bad dream, a fever, a cut or a bad day at school.

There are many children in the world who don’t have fathers in their lives. There are many fathers who have assumed a more passive, detached role with their children. Watching Nekky with our girls, and now with our wee boy has made my heart ache for those without because I see so clearly the power of a positive, active male influence on our kids.

Our girls have a confidence in themselves and in their own value that they will carry through life. They will know their tremendous worth in every relationship they have, and will have the strength to shield themselves from anyone who doesn’t see that worth. Our son will learn to be a strong, warm, nurturing and loving man who isn’t afraid to yield to the softness in his heart. He will also be a great father if that’s what he chooses because he’s had the best role model.

Today, and every day, my heart is full of gratitude for this wonderful man. Thank you dear Nekky for helping me realize the life-long dream of becoming a mother. Thank you for teaching me to move with grace and love, compassion and kindness. Thank you for your sacrifices, your determination, your passion and your faith.

Raising children with you is a beautiful journey that begins afresh each day.

Big, big love to all of the wonderful fathers in my life! The Legion of Grandpas includes Iqbal Jamal (our Bapa) who is a tour-de-force of joy, love and passion for his family, Joe Oleksinski (our Poppa) who delights in his many grandchildren and makes the best breakfast feast you’ll ever taste, and Grandpa Dougie (my dad) who smiles and laughs the most when his grandkids are around. Thank you for being such wonderful anchors in our childrens’ lives, and for supporting and loving us, your children. grandkids are around. Thank you for being such wonderful anchors in our childrens’ lives, and for supporting and loving us, your children.