Okay dear readers. When I re-launched my blog, I promised an amalgamation of all of my various writing personas. Here’s my all time most popular post from where I was writing sex advice. This particular post has had 12,283 views! Written in the spirit of adding some playfulness and spice to the bedroom, I thought of it while watching that hilarious episode of Modern Family where Clair and Phil go to a hotel bar and pretend they’re meeting for the first time. It’s a very detailed post complete with hair and makeup video tutorials and where to buy some of the props and products suggested. Enjoy!
There’s nothing quite so awesome as dress-up. Slipping into another person’s skin with your lover and acting out your fantasies is an incredible way to enjoy your sexual relationship. Most of the time, the things you need to build a really detailed scenario are already at home, or easily attainable with little expense. When introducing role-play, it’s important to have a trusting relationship with your partner, so you are both free to really experience the characters you are creating, and to really explore the scenario at hand. I always recommend a SAFE WORD. This is a totally neutral word, a word that has nothing to do with sex, that both partners can recognize as a pause button. The safe word is used at any point, and you can resume play when the issue that led to the safe word is resolved. The following role-play script is from a male/female perspective, but can be adapted to suit any sexual preference or combination of players.
The High-Priced Escort and the Client
* the sexiest shoes you own
* stockings, knee socks, thigh highs, or stocking-style fishnets
* a garter belt, if required
* super trashy panties (they should be something you’d either be thrilled or slightly embarrassed to be caught in if you got into an accident and had to be whisked away by the paramedics – um, the emergency room scenario should NOT apply to this role-playing game)
* a sexy bra
* a ridiculously short dress or skirt
* a cropped jacket or sexy coat
* a sexy top, if you want to bother with that, or if it makes you feel more confident
* a slightly trashy or over-the-top purse or bag filled with supplies and goodies
* bling – huge earrings, gold chains, body jewelry, toe rings
* fake tattoos
Note: The more detail, the better. Think about who this escort is. Is she smart and polished? Is she trashy and street-smart? Does she have a signature move, like a silk scarf she wears tied around her neck to use for bondage play later? Will she only meet clients wearing four-inch hoops? Does her supply kit contain a fresh pair of underwear that will ‘accidentally’ spill out on the table in front of the client?
* Comfortable, at-home attire (if this is a house call)
* alternatives can include business attire (for a hotel location), club wear or upscale casual if you’re meeting at a bar or lounge, very casual if you’re going to pick up your escort/hooker on the street corner.
HAIR AND MAKEUP – ESCORT:
* Hair should be tastefully over-the-top – style it with large Velcro rollers for big, loose curls, or iron it straight and tease it slightly at the crown
* A pony tail, side pony tail, or pigtails can make great handles
* Very few men can resist a good smoky eye finished with full, glossy lips. Think high, high shine. I love MAC Lip gloss for dress-up. They are really sticky and have real staying power when put to the test. For a truly trashy look, line your lips first with a pencil several shades darker than the gloss. This is often all that is left behind, and for some reason this look makes guys mental.
* Self-tanner like Bare Escentuals Faux Tan is awesome for that fake-tan look. Don’t forget bronzer for your face too!
* Splurge and get a mani/pedi if there is time. Air-brushed French manicure and pedicure are classic
The commentary alone is sexy here.
Note that when she is talking numbers, she’s referring to makeup brush sizes.
This gal is so, so cute and she has a great on-camera personality. Here is part two:
SETTING THE SCENE:
The escort/client scenario offers lots of possibilities for play. I’d recommend trying this one for the first time somewhere relatively private, where you’ll be most comfortable. If you can play at home, uninhibited by the reminders of your “real life”, then this is a great place to start. Otherwise, the privacy of a cheap motel is awesome.
The escort should arrive on the scene to meet the client. This means if you’re at home, you may have to stage this either by getting ready elsewhere, or by texting each other to avoid ruining the surprise. The idea is to stay out of sight until you arrive at the appointment. Trust me, the anticipation and impact of that first glimpse of you properly tarted-up will do half the work for you.
Take your time getting ready, ladies. You may find that the process of getting made up and dressed up for sex is highly arousing. This scene can even be a total surprise, so long as you have a good cover for why you need an hour plus for prep. Text your man when you are at the ten-minutes-to-show-time mark, so he knows to either hide while you leave the house, or to be ready for your arrival.
If he knows about the scenario that is going to transpire, or he knows that you’re up to something and you’re meeting in public:
TEXT: “Hi [insert name]. It’s [insert ridiculous call-girl name] from the Agency. I’m about ten minutes away and wanted to give you the head’s up.”
If your visit is an at-home surprise:
TEXT: “Hey there. Please hang out in the [insert room in house away from the main entrance]. I’ve got a surprise, and you’ll know what to do next when I’m all ready.”
Instant confusion, and perhaps some panic, until he sees you. Then, instant hard-on.
If the client knows about the scenario, he can prepare drinks, music, and anything else he might like (cameras, towels, toys, movies, etc.). If he doesn’t, try to think ahead and include all of this stuff in your kit.
The kit should be a fully-loaded arsenal of anything or everything you might use to play out the scenario. The sky’s the limit here, really. I would advise that you only use toys that you’re comfortable and experienced with, since you’re supposed to be a pro. This scenario should play out as smoothly as possible, so trying new things in this context isn’t recommended.
When you and your kit are ready to go, slip out of the house (if you’re at home) or head to the meeting place. If you’re meeting on the street or in public, text to make sure that your client is there before you are, to make sure you’re as safe as possible.
Be very gracious to your client upon meeting him. Give him your sexiest smile, delicately shake his hand, and introduce yourself with your ridiculous new name. Remember that you are working, that your job is to entirely please your client, and that you’re really great at your job.
Your client may be very sweet. He may offer you a drink, or a snack. Only take these things if offered, and make sure to take whatever is offered to you. (Assuming your partner knows about any pre-existing food allergies, etc.) The only thing that you should request is water if you’re thirsty.
Answer his questions as vaguely and sexily as you can. Don’t offer any personal details, or ask him any personal questions. If you are playing at home, and notice any family photos, do not comment on them. A pro would never make her client reflect on his wife and children. (What kind of naughty, naughty person would have a prostitute in their family home? These are the moments when role-play makes me want to giggle.)
Once you’ve established the introductions, let the games begin, taking the client’s lead. You may decide to settle up payment first, you may decide that the date is on his account (hahaha!) or you may decide to skip this part and just begin to show him your kit. Let him instruct you and remember your only goal is customer satisfaction.
Expect to perform a strip tease and/or a lap dance (you may want to practice this first because yikes!) to remove your clothes. If you aren’t asked to do this, but are comfortable initiating a strip show, then by all means, go ahead you naughty little muffin! Let the client remove his own clothes as he decides that he wants to. DO NOT remove your shoes or your stockings or any jewelry at any point, unless he tells you to.
Enjoy the ride. Both parties should try to remain in character, unless the safe word is used. When you’re ready to end the scenario, you can tag out and then enjoy each other’s descriptions of the experience. As you grow more comfortable with this particular scenario, move the location elsewhere. Costuming may have to be slightly modified for public appearance, but a new locale can pack a powerful punch for both players.
*If you are asked to strip or dance, take your time. Enjoy the tease.
*Clients, you may want to start out on your best behavior, but as you grow more comfortable in the scene, try to really take on the role of someone who has paid for sex, whatever this means to you. Trust that your partner will give you cues, and will use your safe word if she’s uncomfortable.
*Remove a typical, intimate act from the repertoire – like kissing on the mouth. I know, it’s so “Pretty Woman” but if it’s something you’re both used to, the tease of it being off the table will be so delicious. If your client is good to you, maybe you’ll even bend your own rule.
*Dirty talk and porn star sound effects are absolutely perfect in this scenario. The sky’s the limit here. Challenge yourself to not feel shy or self-conscious.
*Compliment each other as you enjoy how hot you are together. Be dirty with the compliments. We all love to hear these things, believe me.
*Escorts, if you bring a vibe, or if you want to orgasm, don’t try until you ask the client if that’s what they want. If they don’t want it, don’t do it. Wait to get off when the scenario has ended.
*Practice makes perfect. This scenario is so delicious, and open to so many variables. Re-visit it as often as you like. Even go so far as to set up an email address to “schedule appointments”. Really explore your relationship, and the joy of sex that is strictly about getting each other off.
I’d love to hear your feedback! Send me an email or share in comments below. If you have a variation of this scenario that you can recommend, please share it with us.
Enjoy the fantasy. You deserve it, and I hope it makes for a delicious weekend!