Cat Skinner Club

Mommy’s To-Do List – Week of July 29th

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Weekend Highlights

On Friday night the grown ups went to catch my theatre company Les Coquettes at the first show of the Toronto Burlesque Festival. My troupe closed the show with a powerhouse number by the ladies, featuring a very pregnant babe who blew everyone’s minds by climbing up and doing a stunning silks routine. Yeah, I know, my girlfriends ROCK. We got to grab a bite after with almost everyone, and I may have had just a teensy bit too much to drink. It was delightful. Please pardon the grainy iPhone photos, we snapped them on the down low.

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Saturday we returned to the city for a birthday party for the girls. Ayla is seriously missing her Toronto friends, and she was off the charts excited to be there. This gave us an opportunity to pick up a massive stack of mail from the old house, and visit with my auntie.

On Sunday Uncle Kyle came over and helped the grown-ups build our play structure. I was out of commission with a horribly stiff neck, but I was able to help prep lunch, which Khadija Mum made for my mom and brother. It was delicious and the weather was perfect yesterday. I had one of those days where I couldn’t believe I was in my own beautiful back yard.

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VIP Tasks This Week

Swimming Lessons

All three of the monkeys are in swim lessons this week. I think I’ll have to rise early and get Noah fed and off for a nap before we head out, otherwise his nap falls right during class time. BAD IDEA. The girls are excited for any reason to be in the water. What’s with kids and pools?

Clear More Clutter

We need to bulldoze the garage and clear up some more space at home to get ready for the weekend barbeque and the arrival next week of our beloved English auntie and cousin. Besides, it’s almost been a month since we moved. I think it’s time to finally be settled.

What I didn’t get to last week:

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I need to hit the Ministry of Transportation office and write my exam. I can’t enjoy any of my in-car lessons until I have my learner’s permit, and after subjecting myself to a classroom filled with sixteen-year-olds I need to reap the benefits of my ordeal!

Personal Goals

I’ve been kind of lazy about keeping my room tidy, and I’d like to get back on track with this, especially because we have guests this weekend. In fact, I think I need to get back on track with all manner of housekeeping. Being out of the house all week has really thrown me off.

My personal reading time hasn’t really happened. At all. I’m going to try harder to carve out some more time for this.

Things to Look Forward To

Pool Time!
I love being in the water with the baby, and I’m so glad to be able to do this every day this week. We have such a lovely local pool and community centre, it’s so nice to take advantage of.

The Library!
I had a small revelation last week. I love fashion magazines, but after looking at them once, they are usually in the recycling pile. What a waste! My solution – the library! I can get the current issue of most magazines, and return it for someone else to enjoy when I’m finished. I’m going to grab a stack one of these days while we’re at the pool, because the library is in the same building.

Birthday Fun Continues!
We couldn’t find a well-rated Mexican place that was within striking distance, but Uncle Kyle tipped us off about a place in the middle of nowhere (Winona) for my birthday feast, and it’s been causing a big stir. It’s called the Memphis Fire Barbeque Company and it was seriously, seriously delicious. I feel like it’s my duty now to take any visitors to this place.

Speaking of which, on Sunday the Toronto crew arrives for a birthday camp out on our property. I’m really looking forward to hosting most of my peeps, and their little ones.

Mommy’s To-Do List – Week of July 22nd

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Weekend Highlights

After surviving a night of crazy thunderstorms and tornado warnings, we piled the children into the van and made the trek to Barrie for a reunion hosted by Mama S’ clan in honour of my sister-in-love’s upcoming 30th birthday. The weather was spectacular – sunny, but so much cooler than it has been, which was perfect for the kids to play outside. It was so nice seeing all of the cousins together. It made me wistful for my own cousins, who I grew up so close to. Watching the little band of monkeys romp around was easily my weekend highlight. They were all so sweet and careful with the babies. I als had a beautiful moment of quiet with Noah asleep on my hip in his sling while we lounged by the pond and the waterfall that Poppa and Nana so painstakingly built. We slept in luxury in their motor home that sleeps eight! Now I have a family RV trip fantasy that I am determined to fulfill before October.

VIP Tasks This Week

Idle Little Devils

I’m away every morning from nine until three at a course. I need to leave Hannah and Ayla with some activities so they don’t get bored, because when kids get bored it’s scary. When really smart kids get bored it’s really scary!

Create a Menu

I’m hosting some friends for an early August barbeque and camp out to celebrate my birthday, which is on Wednesday. This week I’ll work with Daddy on creating the low-carb, gluten-free menu. The party is called ‘Pitch A Tent, It’s My Birthday’. Tee Hee.

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I need to hit the Ministry of Transportation office and write my exam so I can get my G1 learner’s permit. Can you believe I’m almost thirty-something years old and I don’t have a driver’s license yet? Moving to the middle of nowhere has been incredible incentive.

Pedicure

This has never been a VIP task in my life, but I’m making it one now. I’ve always envied those women who can justify taking the time and money to indulge in regular pedicures, and so now I will just be one. My course is across from the big shopping mall in town, so there is bound to be somewhere I can pop into after class one day.

What I didn’t get to last week:

 

Personal Goals

I really want to be bright and alert each day in class so I can make the most of my time there. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve been in a classroom and I feel a little nervous!

I also want to reserve some energy to spend with the girls and Noah each day after class. I know they’ll feel me being out of the house, and I think I’m really going to miss them too.

 

Things to Look Forward To

Learning to Drive!

True we’ll probably only cover the basic rules and such in class, but I’m one step closer to getting the driver’s license I’ve been promising myself for ages. I’m so glad that I’m not learning to drive in the big city.

Exploring the Mall!

I’m going to request a later pick up on one of the days I’m at Driver’s Ed. I’d like to have a look around the big local mall. Even though I hate the mall, it’s nice to know what’s available should I ever require some very extensive retail therapy. Also, everyone loves air conditioning, right?

Taking a Break!

I love my kids, and I love my partners, but I’m REALLY looking forward to getting out of the house for a whole week, even if that means I’ll be in a semi-boring classroom setting. I think it will be a nice way to shift focus so I can miss everyone a little. That absence cliché is a good one.

Happy Birthday!

It’s my birthday on Wednesday, and I want to spend the whole day spoiling myself and feeling oh-so-grateful for all of the blessings in my life. I wonder if St. Catharine’s has a kick ass Mexican place for dinner that night? Ahem.

 

 

A Day of Rest

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Hey gang!

It’s a busy weekend jam-packed with family fun that I can’t wait to share with you, but I’ve decided that on Sundays, I’ll take a day off from writing.

I’ll share a photo that inspires peace and tranquility, and hopefully inspire you to enjoy a restful, low-stress Sunday with your loved ones. Please tell us how you’ll spend your day relaxing and share your photos too!


Goodbye City House

Baby Smiling

The Noodle will soon have a new sofa
to play on.

 

On Tuesday evening I drove away from our Toronto home for the last time. I peered over the tower of laundry that kept Noodle and I company in the back seat and felt such a strange mixture of wistfulness and excitement. The city will always be in my blood, but I’m excited to leave it and move on to new and exciting things.

Our house on Bedford Road was the first home the three of us shared together. (Click here if you require an explanation for ‘the three of us’.) We’ve had our share of fond memories in this house, but we’ve also had a great deal of sorrow. It isn’t easy to reinvent the wheel, and we’ve had to learn a lot of things the hard way. Hearts have been badly broken in that house, and the repair continues to this day.

Our little girls went on to their new country home on Sunday with their grandparents, but before we said goodbye, we lit a small candle in the centre of our living room and made a little circle. We all held hands and encouraged the girls to share some happy memories of their home, and had them say a final goodbye. It was very sweet – all of their memories are wonderful ones – and they got a little choked up. I think they were mostly interested in seeing which of the grown ups would cry first. Of course it was me.

I felt bittersweet. Happy that so many of their memories were precious, and sad that my own experience of our home was double-edged. Each configuration of our adult relationships has dissolved at one point under that roof, and not all of those relationships have been restored in the same way.

I can say with confidence that all of our grown up relationships are better than they have ever been. I can say that we have created much more emotional safety and security for all of us. It’s no secret that this path has been hard, and heart wrenching. I think the key reason for our struggle was lack of knowledge. Even with a few clever books, we didn’t really have a roadmap, and the best road map in the world is useless if you don’t know yourself.

Therapy and determination are the only reasons why my family is together today, and stronger than ever. Even in the midst of the darkest hours of chaos and pain, I could feel in my soul that our paths were meant to be together, and I think I must have shared that feeling because here we all are. Without the guidance of our wonderful therapist, I don’t think I ever would have found the courage to fight for what I wanted, which was our family, together.

I’m not so very religious anymore, but the way our relationship has persisted against all odds has taught me a kind of faith that is greater to me than the faith of religion. It’s a devotion that is tangible and real, something I can see and feel every day in the smiles of our children and the warmth of our home, wherever it may be.

251 Bedford Road is growing mushrooms in the basement. Our old house grew a baby in my belly. The bricks and mortar sheltered Hannu and Aylu as they grew several inches and many miles in maturity. Our city house at the corner of a busy street grew our three souls into three separate worlds that unite beautifully and peacefully shelter their own stratosphere. These worlds continue to revolve, and we pilgrims continue to discover the richness of our strange and wonderful shores.

Thank you city for starting me out on this amazing journey.

Once A Day

AyluBedford Next Wednesday, the movers arrive to pack our home in a truck and we’ll leave our life in the city behind. I’m not sure that I’m totally ready to do that.

We grow so attached to the places we call home, don’t we? This house we’ve been renting is filled with our memories. Hannah started grade one our first fall here, so much smaller than she is now. We’ve been here long enough for Ayla to move through kindergarten and into grade one herself. I laboured with Noah in this house, treading the creaking floors and writhing in our claw foot tub. We’ve shared so many meals, movie nights, weekend housekeeping parties and memories here. It was the first home the three of us had together. hannahgradeone The city has been such a huge part of my identity well before I began writing this blog, it’s hard to imagine myself not connected to it in some way. What will become of me when I no longer have over-priced cafes within walking distance, or any of those other things that I’ve come to associate with city life?

Our garden three years ago.

Our garden three years ago.

Yesterday I had some dental work done, and I hate visiting the dentist so absolutely. We tried Nitrous Oxide for the first time to help take the edge off, and it was nice, but not what I was hoping for. I was imagining more of a trip, but it really just felt like dental work after cocktail hour. Relaxing a little bit more did allow me to go on a little journey… I tried to distract myself by thinking about things that make me happy, and of all the things in my life that I enjoy, none can compare to the time spent with my children and our family. Simple moments together, doing anything, are the moments that I cherish most. As I lay there listening to the high-pitched scream of the dental tools grinding away at my teeth, I wanted to hold my baby and watch my daughters try to make him laugh. bedforddining bedfordkitchen bedfordliving Sacrificing life in the city to take stock of our business, save some money, pay down some debt, and make a new plan for moving forward will allow so much more time with our children. Our decision to homeschool will create such freedom and flexibility. If Daddy and I can dream up income streams that require all three parents to work from home, we really will be living the life we dream of – one where we can experience the wide world with our kids and work from anywhere. Each and every decision I make needs to be one that makes my family better. These decisions need to give us more time together, and enrich the quality of the time we spend. I need to make sure I’m my best self, so that I can give them my best, and so that as they grow older they will remember this time we have together and know how much they were loved. All of these things I cling to, trying to make a mark in the world – my writing, my performing – none of them are as important as the mark I make on my children. This morning, I carried my computer upstairs from the breakfast table to my room so I could get some quiet work done. A quarter into this post, I got stuck, knowing what I wanted to say but not sure how to frame it. I distracted myself by sending an overdue email to my theatre troupe, and then Nekky came with a soft knock at my door. He showed me this video, and it said everything I’d been trying to say. Life does not begin after we’ve paid off a credit card. Life is not when we get that job we’ve been dreaming of. Life is not when we’ve saved enough, or when we can finally take off and travel. Our life is now. Noisy breakfast tables, nap times with grandma, towers of boxes packed with memories, sleepless nights, feverish toddlers, sticky fingers and homemade popsicles. My home will be rich and rewarding no matter where it is as long as the five people I love the most are in it with me. Our memories are made every second of each day, and the greatest thing we can do for our children and ourselves is remember that at least once a day. Thanks Daddy, and Stephen for the beautiful reminder today.


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