Moves You Can Use – The Cement Mixer

Image from the delicious website

What’s It For: A great warm-up or slow down technique for intercourse

Who’s In Charge: The Person Being Penetrated

What You Need: A high state of arousal for both parties, lube, a comfortable surface

Ideal Position: Missionary (person being penetrated is on the bottom – on their back or on their stomach)

Note of Caution: Anyone with lower back trouble should use caution with this move.

The Cement Mixer is a great move for a slow start and a slow tease. Ideal for that moment when foreplay has taken you as far as it can and everyone is ready to explode, or when you or your partner needs a break from some enthusiastic thrusting.

To begin, this move works best while penetration is happening. If the person being penetrated is on their back, they bring their feet up so their knees are bent, and the soles of their feet are flat on the play surface (bed, etc.). If the person is on their stomach, they can gain more leverage and control by propping themselves up on their elbows.

The Cement Mixer begins by engaging the core pelvic and stomach muscles. From the “on the back” position, contract the butt muscles and tilt the pelvis up slightly. Begin a slow, circular grind with your hips while imagining that you’re massaging your partner with this motion. Imagine your pelvis moving like the barrel of a cement mixer, stirring slowly in a gentle tease. If you’re on your tummy, the same applies – experiment with the position of your knees, seeing what kind of leverage they can offer. Remember to really focus on engaging your core muscles, to ensure that you are taking any undue strain off your lower back. Contracting and releasing your PC muscles or your anal sphincter while performing this move will make it even more mind-blowing.

You’ll know when to conclude the Cement Mixer because eventually it will make your partner so crazy that they will have to return to thrusting. At this point, relax completely and feel yourself envelop your partner, guiding them gently to your sweetest spots.

You’re welcome. Have a fantastic weekend!

Ask Mommy: For the Birds


Dear Mommy,

As a predominately (mostly? bi-and-large?) hetero, entirely feminist woman, I sometimes find it hard to find porn that appeals to me. I get turned on by watching women and men both, in pretty much any combination. My challenge is that most porn features women and men whose bodies I don’t find real enough to be attractive – by which I mean, they are overly produced, hairless, and not soft and sexy and beautifully flawed like the humans I know and love. I find that I love burlesque photos, black-and-white shots, and photos that are artistic, highly suggestive or even explicit, as long as they look believable. Photos that give you the feeling of consensual voyeurism. A few years ago, you mentioned a video porn site on your blog that I really loved that featured real women having real orgasms. I’m looking for more suggestions of great erotica, featuring gorgeous, real, fucking hot people. Pretty much a Les Coquettes show, but in pictures…with more sex.

Got any ideas?



Dear B,

If that isn’t a Freaky Friday gauntlet throw down, I don’t know what is! I was so excited to get your note, I went into overload trying to find the very best answers, because I know that this post is going to make A LOT of women happy.

My first move was to turn to one of my very sexy friends, Sonya JF Barnett, co-founder of Slutwalk and The Madame of Toronto’s Raciest Art Community, The Keyhole Sessions. Sonya has incredible taste, and she’s deeply invested in creating sex-positive, pro female erotic art. She recently won the Golden Beaver (best Canadian content) at the Feminist Porn Awards for her premiere erotic video ‘Because I Want You to Watch’. You can check out her ridiculously sexy work here.

Sonya immediately recommended Cindy Gallop’s “Make Love Not Porn” (in beta). This is a fascinating web-based profit-share where real people create and share real porn. They don’t like to call themselves amateurs, because of the implication that the only people who can create sexy porn are the pros. I particularly enjoyed Cindy’s amusing and accurate look at the ‘Porn World vs. Real World’. When your kids discover porn, and are old enough to contextualize sex in more explicit terms, this will be highly illuminating and informative for them. As Cindy says in her Ted Talk (see video below) about the influence of hardcore porn on contemporary sexuality, “Sex is the area of human experience that embraces the vastest possible range of proclivities.” The important task of being true to our own desires and needs lies with us.

B, the website featuring real female orgasm that you reference in your note is the delightful I Feel Myself. It’s a members-only site, but well worth the fee if that’s what makes you warm and tingly.

To make sure I’ve thoroughly satisfied you, I also wanted to share the information below which I first published on my sex education blog.

Photo by Andrew Blake

I like porn. The more deeply I delve into the world of adult video, the more I like the genre. It’s hard to believe that once-upon-a-time I used to be intimidated by the idea of watching x-rated movies. I think I believed that porn was only for guys, that I would feel inadequate if I watched surgically enhanced women getting it on, and that porn was degrading to women. This is true in some cases, but like all things wonderful about the Internet, with enough digging, there’s something out there for everyone. Even you, my horny sisters.

Here are some things to consider when delving into porn for the first time:

Fly Solo
Plan to be all alone the first few times you watch porn. Whether it’s free stuff you find on the Internet or a video that you’ve rented, watching solo takes any pressure off, and frees you up to explore what makes you feel good.

Bring a Toy
If you find something particularly arousing, run with it! Note which scenarios and sex acts make you the happiest. Also note the directors or performers involved in your favorite scenes.

Keep the Other Hand on the Remote
Fast forward through the boring parts. This is part of the joy of watching porn. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a feature-length adult movie from start to finish.

Visit Your Favorite Pro-Women Sex Shop
These stores are staffed with awesome people who will make you totally comfortable in asking questions. They often have a rental section, and will gladly make recommendations. Save yourself from the experience of a trashy, alienating sex shop geared towards men. There are also lots of online resources for sex-positive porn from a female perspective.

Female Directors
The face of porn is changing as smart, savvy women are stepping up to the director’s chair. Feminist porn describes x-rated movies told from a woman’s perspective, and includes real female fantasies and POV (point-of-view) shots from the female angle. Some kick-ass female directors include:

Candida Royalle, Tristan Taormino, Anna Span, Madison Young and Erika Lust

Check out this great website, Porn Movies for Women, for more recommendations.

While you’re sure to be inspired by some of the scenarios you’ll see in porn, sexual education videos can also be incredibly hot. Add some of these to your DVD library, and plan a study date solo or with a buddy.

Costume Epics
If you think that dress-up might be your thing, look for costume epics and historical dramas within the porn genre.

It’s hard to believe, but there are porn films out there that actually have decent story lines. Look for films by Candida Royale, Paul Thomas, and Veronica Hart who are all known for their story-telling abilities.

Natural Bodies
If you don’t get off on the artificial fantasy body of many main-stream porn stars, there are lots of actresses out these still kicking it au-natural. Some mainstream porn recommendations include Belladonna and Tori Black. True lesbian porn almost always features natural women. Also, good old-fashioned 70’s porn features natural bodies, including lots of bush. Consider yourself warned.

Check out the realm of porn created with no budget and a handy-cam by earnest, hard-working average Joes and Janes. Charming, and sometimes quite sexy.

Lesbian or Bi-curious
Curious about the wonderful world of girl-on-girl? Lesbian films, produced by lesbian artists depict realistic lesbian sex. Or, treat yourself to the high-gloss, ultra stylized world of male fantasy lesbian hardcore. Some days it’s hard to decide which is better.

Hot Men
Up until recently, men in porn have more or less served as super-sized units attached to ugly people. With women in the driver’s seat, porn actors are getting yummier and yummier. Actors Manuel Ferrara, Jean Val Jean and Mr. Marcus are popular favorites. Director Anna Span is notorious for treating her viewers to hot guys. There’s also the option of kicking back to enjoy some gay porn. Those boys rarely disappoint when it comes to pretty faces.

Porn for Couples
This is an actual sub-genre of the porn industry. You can search for this on the Internet, and lots of delicious choices will appear. Couples’ porn has something for each person to enjoy, and often depicts real fantasies shared by people in monogamous relationships.

High Art
For a highly stylized treat that looks like the pages of a fashion magazine has sprung to life and started a hump-fest, check out the work of director Andrew Blake. Another noteworthy contemporary is Michael Ninn.

Challenge your comfort zone and expand your horizons by experiencing kinky sex from the safe distance of your sofa. BDSM (an acronym that represents the idea of  bondage, discipline, domination, and sado-masochism) and fetishistic sex come alive in ways you can scarcely imagine in the world of porn.

Free Porn
It boggles the mind to think of how much porn is available for free on the Internet. Now that you have some tips on what to look for, set aside several hours (no joke, you won’t be able to stop yourself) and check out the endless selection available at the following websites WARNING: THESE SITES MOSTLY FEATURE MAINSTREAM PORN, NOT USUALLY FROM A FEMINIST PERSPECTIVE

Let Someone Else do the Work
For the Girls is a subscription-based website that features naughty photos, video, and stories chosen for women by women. A trial membership could be a fun way to introduce yourself to the world of adult entertainment.

Read All About It
There are some great books devoted to the topic of women and porn. If you’d like to arm yourself with as much info as possible before diving in, check out these great titles:

Good Porn: A Woman’s Guide

The Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn

Do my readers have any steadfast sources of great feminist porn? Share here so we can all enjoy!

Kisses on your nose,

Playboy Mommy

What Size is Sexy?

Madmen's Christina Hendricks

Dear Mommy,

I’m a 20-something female who feels sexy even though I’m well above a size 8 and have no trouble waking up beside a handsome fella. Feeling sexy or just feeling good about myself has been a constant struggle since childhood, but coming into my full-bodied adult life I now see that skinny doesn’t always mean sexy. 

A very single, very sexy guy I was talking to the other day said that short dresses and model-bodies aren’t sexy if the personality wearing them is that of a house fly, but a voluptuous woman, confident and comfortable in her own skin, can be nothing but sexy.

Ladies and gents are just as insecure as the other, so please, Playboy Mommy, do what you do best and give us a taste of what’s sexy, the unconventional way.


Ms Loves Her Lady Lumps

Dear Lady Lumps,

This note gave me pause. Have I been doing a bad job representing the women I’m hoping to inspire and empower?

So many of the photos I choose for my Freaky Friday posts feature model-types. I love fashion, and fashion photography, and want to celebrate the talented artists who shine in that industry, but sadly that industry is still in the habit of perpetuating entirely unattainable, false beauty standards. It’s no secret that very few people are actually able to be so thin by nature’s own hand, and I want this blog, and all of my work, to really resonate with everyone who visits here. It should be said that by no means do I think that only a women who can fit into a size 0 is attractive, or sexy. In fact, I think it’s truly fucked up that size 0 even exists. Why would anyone aspire to NOTHING?? I feel confidant that the rest of the real world feels that way too, and I hope that this particular post inspires an interesting dialogue here.

I’m not talking about perpetuating a society that promotes obesity either. Either end of the scale (pardon the pun) is too extreme and both need to be painted as the unhealthy, seriously physically and psychologically damaging lifestyle choices that they are. The fact is, real women come in all shapes and sizes, and even when we take measures to eat healthy and exercise regularly, a size six might even be impossible for some of us. Does that mean we should sacrifice our sensuality or sexuality? Absofuckin’lutely not. In an ongoing effort to acknowledge and celebrate every reader’s sexuality, here are some Internet finds that are for bold, bodacious, real-figured women and the people who love them.

Thank you Lady for speaking up!

Sizzling Lingerie Sites

Shockingly, this ad was deemed too risque for a host of networks. The same networks who air Victoria’s Secret ads without hesitation. Makes you think, doesn’t it? I think the gal in the ad is scrumptious.

The web is a sea of resources, but after an afternoon of careful poking around, here are some of my favorite lingerie sites for women with serious curves:

Secrets in Lace


Hips and Curves

Sites with great “plus-size” sections:

Oh Cheri

Trashy (only up to size 14)

Further Inspiration

Here are a few additional resources, tidbits, and morsels from the web:

This compelling segment from the Ellen show features four of the most popular plus-size models in the fashion industry, and some really promising words from Glamour magazine. This popular fashion magazine has made a pledge to its readers to feature a real variety of body types in it’s pages. It’s about time someone did.

The Curvy Life is a blog I stumbled on that I think is really brilliant. It’s good reading for any woman, and a really positive, beautifully laid-out site. Here’s their mission statement:

It’s The Curvy Life’s mission is to empower women to stand in the full power of their bodies and to embrace their beautiful curves, no matter the size. It’s time to create a culture of body love, so GET YOUR CURVE ON!

Plus Model Magazine is the premiere magazine celebrating and inspiring the plus size fashion, beauty, arts and plus size modeling industries. Check out their blog and subscribe online here.


Gallery of Gorgeousness

Finally, here are some smokin’ hot pics of some of my favorite buxom beauties. For more incredible beauty, check out Plus Models

Natalie Laughlin

Maggie Brown

Barbara Brickner

Crystal Renn

Kate Dillon

Mia Tyler

Toccara Jones

Whitney Thompson

Christina Hendricks

There’s so many more gorgeous curvy women in the media! Tell us who your favourite buxom babe is.

Sexy Role Play Scenarios Made Easy

From the Motor City series by Kyle Andrew

From the Motor City series by Kyle Andrew

Okay dear readers. When I re-launched my blog, I promised an amalgamation of all of my various writing personas. Here’s my all time most popular post from where I was writing sex advice. This particular post has had 12,283 views! Written in the spirit of adding some playfulness and spice to the bedroom, I thought of it while watching that hilarious episode of Modern Family where Clair and Phil go to a hotel bar and pretend they’re meeting for the first time. It’s a very detailed post complete with hair and makeup video tutorials and where to buy some of the props and products suggested. Enjoy!

There’s nothing quite so awesome as dress-up. Slipping into another person’s skin with your lover and acting out your fantasies is an incredible way to enjoy your sexual relationship. Most of the time, the things you need to build a really detailed scenario are already at home, or easily attainable with little expense. When introducing role-play, it’s important to have a trusting relationship with your partner, so you are both free to really experience the characters you are creating, and to really explore the scenario at hand. I always recommend a SAFE WORD. This is a totally neutral word, a word that has nothing to do with sex, that both partners can recognize as a pause button. The safe word is used at any point, and you can resume play when the issue that led to the safe word is resolved. The following role-play script is from a male/female perspective, but can be adapted to suit any sexual preference or combination of players.

The High-Priced Escort and the Client


* the sexiest shoes you own
* stockings, knee socks, thigh highs, or stocking-style fishnets
* a garter belt, if required
* super trashy panties (they should be something you’d either be thrilled or slightly embarrassed to be caught in if you got into an accident and had to be whisked away by the paramedics – um, the emergency room scenario should NOT apply to this role-playing game)
* a sexy bra
* a ridiculously short dress or skirt
* a cropped jacket or sexy coat
* a sexy top, if you want to bother with that, or if it makes you feel more confident
* a slightly trashy or over-the-top purse or bag filled with supplies and goodies
* bling – huge earrings, gold chains, body jewelry, toe rings
* fake tattoos
Note: The more detail, the better. Think about who this escort is. Is she smart and polished? Is she trashy and street-smart? Does she have a signature move, like a silk scarf she wears tied around her neck to use for bondage play later? Will she only meet clients wearing four-inch hoops? Does her supply kit contain a fresh pair of underwear that will ‘accidentally’ spill out on the table in front of the client?

* Comfortable, at-home attire (if this is a house call)
* alternatives can include business attire (for a hotel location), club wear or upscale casual if you’re meeting at a bar or lounge, very casual if you’re going to pick up your escort/hooker on the street corner.

* Hair should be tastefully over-the-top – style it with large Velcro rollers for big, loose curls, or iron it straight and tease it slightly at the crown
* A pony tail, side pony tail, or pigtails can make great handles
* Very few men can resist a good smoky eye finished with full, glossy lips. Think high, high shine. I love MAC Lip gloss for dress-up. They are really sticky and have real staying power when put to the test. For a truly trashy look, line your lips first with a pencil several shades darker than the gloss. This is often all that is left behind, and for some reason this look makes guys mental.
* Self-tanner like Bare Escentuals Faux Tan is awesome for that fake-tan look. Don’t forget bronzer for your face too!
* Splurge and get a mani/pedi if there is time. Air-brushed French manicure and pedicure are classic

Makeup Tutorial:

The commentary alone is sexy here.
Note that when she is talking numbers, she’s referring to makeup brush sizes.
Hair Tutorial:

This gal is so, so cute and she has a great on-camera personality. Here is part two:

The escort/client scenario offers lots of possibilities for play. I’d recommend trying this one for the first time somewhere relatively private, where you’ll be most comfortable. If you can play at home, uninhibited by the reminders of your “real life”, then this is a great place to start. Otherwise, the privacy of a cheap motel is awesome.
The escort should arrive on the scene to meet the client. This means if you’re at home, you may have to stage this either by getting ready elsewhere, or by texting each other to avoid ruining the surprise. The idea is to stay out of sight until you arrive at the appointment. Trust me, the anticipation and impact of that first glimpse of you properly tarted-up will do half the work for you.
Take your time getting ready, ladies. You may find that the process of getting made up and dressed up for sex is highly arousing. This scene can even be a total surprise, so long as you have a good cover for why you need an hour plus for prep. Text your man when you are at the ten-minutes-to-show-time mark, so he knows to either hide while you leave the house, or to be ready for your arrival.

Some Suggestions:
If he knows about the scenario that is going to transpire, or he knows that you’re up to something and you’re meeting in public:
TEXT: “Hi [insert name]. It’s [insert ridiculous call-girl name] from the Agency. I’m about ten minutes away and wanted to give you the head’s up.”
Instant hard-on.

If your visit is an at-home surprise:
TEXT: “Hey there. Please hang out in the [insert room in house away from the main entrance]. I’ve got a surprise, and you’ll know what to do next when I’m all ready.”
Instant confusion, and perhaps some panic, until he sees you. Then, instant hard-on.

If the client knows about the scenario, he can prepare drinks, music, and anything else he might like (cameras, towels, toys, movies, etc.). If he doesn’t, try to think ahead and include all of this stuff in your kit.

The kit should be a fully-loaded arsenal of anything or everything you might use to play out the scenario. The sky’s the limit here, really. I would advise that you only use toys that you’re comfortable and experienced with, since you’re supposed to be a pro. This scenario should play out as smoothly as possible, so trying new things in this context isn’t recommended.

When you and your kit are ready to go, slip out of the house (if you’re at home) or head to the meeting place. If you’re meeting on the street or in public, text to make sure that your client is there before you are, to make sure you’re as safe as possible.

Be very gracious to your client upon meeting him. Give him your sexiest smile, delicately shake his hand, and introduce yourself with your ridiculous new name. Remember that you are working, that your job is to entirely please your client, and that you’re really great at your job.

Your client may be very sweet. He may offer you a drink, or a snack. Only take these things if offered, and make sure to take whatever is offered to you. (Assuming your partner knows about any pre-existing food allergies, etc.) The only thing that you should request is water if you’re thirsty.

Answer his questions as vaguely and sexily as you can. Don’t offer any personal details, or ask him any personal questions. If you are playing at home, and notice any family photos, do not comment on them. A pro would never make her client reflect on his wife and children. (What kind of naughty, naughty person would have a prostitute in their family home? These are the moments when role-play makes me want to giggle.)

Once you’ve established the introductions, let the games begin, taking the client’s lead. You may decide to settle up payment first, you may decide that the date is on his account (hahaha!) or you may decide to skip this part and just begin to show him your kit. Let him instruct you and remember your only goal is customer satisfaction.

Expect to perform a strip tease and/or a lap dance (you may want to practice this first because yikes!) to remove your clothes. If you aren’t asked to do this, but are comfortable initiating a strip show, then by all means, go ahead you naughty little muffin! Let the client remove his own clothes as he decides that he wants to. DO NOT remove your shoes or your stockings or any jewelry at any point, unless he tells you to.

Enjoy the ride. Both parties should try to remain in character, unless the safe word is used. When you’re ready to end the scenario, you can tag out and then enjoy each other’s descriptions of the experience. As you grow more comfortable with this particular scenario, move the location elsewhere. Costuming may have to be slightly modified for public appearance, but a new locale can pack a powerful punch for both players.

*If you are asked to strip or dance, take your time. Enjoy the tease.

*Clients, you may want to start out on your best behavior, but as you grow more comfortable in the scene, try to really take on the role of someone who has paid for sex, whatever this means to you. Trust that your partner will give you cues, and will use your safe word if she’s uncomfortable.

*Remove a typical, intimate act from the repertoire – like kissing on the mouth. I know, it’s so “Pretty Woman” but if it’s something you’re both used to, the tease of it being off the table will be so delicious. If your client is good to you, maybe you’ll even bend your own rule.

*Dirty talk and porn star sound effects are absolutely perfect in this scenario. The sky’s the limit here. Challenge yourself to not feel shy or self-conscious.

*Compliment each other as you enjoy how hot you are together. Be dirty with the compliments. We all love to hear these things, believe me.

*Escorts, if you bring a vibe, or if you want to orgasm, don’t try until you ask the client if that’s what they want. If they don’t want it, don’t do it. Wait to get off when the scenario has ended.

*Practice makes perfect. This scenario is so delicious, and open to so many variables. Re-visit it as often as you like. Even go so far as to set up an email address to “schedule appointments”. Really explore your relationship, and the joy of sex that is strictly about getting each other off.

I’d love to hear your feedback! Send me an email or share in comments below. If you have a variation of this scenario that you can recommend, please share it with us.

Enjoy the fantasy. You deserve it, and I hope it makes for a delicious weekend!









This evening, in my cold-medicated state Arthur and I padded over to the movie rental store to find the kind of entertainment that we could enjoy from the sofa.

I picked up the first disk of the series True Blood because everyone keeps telling me I’ll like it. I’m two episodes in, and it’s definitely sexy, but I find some of the writing a bit weak. I’m already attached to a couple of the characters though, so what the dialogue lacks is made up in development. I’ll keep watching. I’d forgotten that the show is an Alan Ball creation, who I love.

Completely and totally randomly, I picked up Towelhead. It was recommended by the movie store, and I always like their recommendations. I didn’t even read the synopsis. I just saw that Toni Collette was in it, and figured it must be good. I popped this into the DVD player after episode two of True Blood.

The story is about a thirteen year old girl with a white mom and Lebanese father. She gets shipped to her father’s home in the U.S. suburbs after a complicated scenario arises at her mother’s house. At first, this starts as a quirky coming-0f-age story.

As the tale unravels, my heart starts to break into a million little pieces. I can’t get into the nitty gritty details of why this affected me so without spoiling the plot, but this movie is such a raw take on the idea of female sexuality. It’s amazing that I randomly selected this, because this exact topic has been on my mind a lot lately.

There is a real disconnect between how women are expected to feel about sex, and how they themselves would like to feel about it. This mass confusion and hypocrisy affects both genders too. For all our feminist efforts, things really haven’t changed that much, and sometimes I feel like my attitude towards sexuality is what will always make certain aspects of my life challenging.

I don’t just mean the act of sex, either. I mean sexuality at large; maybe even sensuality is the word to use.

This particular entry is long overdue, and this movie really drove it home for me.

I began to ask questions about sex at about eight years of age, if I remember correctly. My questions were met by my mom, who very calmly gave me a book to read and then told me to ask any and all other questions I might have after reading it. I don’t remember the specifics here, but I know I felt comfortable, and fascinated, and not really embarrassed at all.

I also remember finding my dad’s Playboy collection, and being intrigued. When I got busted for that, I think I was only told that they were magazines for grown-ups and that they were private.

Then, my search led me to the original edition of The Joy of Sex. I still love men with beards and shaggy hair because of this. I hid that discovery for weeks under my bed, until my mom asked if perhaps I might know of its whereabouts. I fessed up, and as I recall, she told me she would prefer that I leave this book on the bookshelf, and ask any questions I might have about what I’d read there.

Several other discoveries were made, always through snooping through my parents’ bedroom, which proved to be something of a treasure trove. Each time, burning curiosity, and my mother’s open nature led me to confess my invasion of their privacy so I could ask the questions that were begging to be asked. Each time, I was gently admonished for my snooping, because private time and privacy were very important, and then I got a clear and honest answer.

I never, ever heard or walked in on my parents having sex, but at least once a week, after we were tucked in, the lock on their bedroom door would click, and the entire house would smell like lavender massage oil. It was easy for me to piece this mystery together.

I’d always taken this for granted, assuming that everyone I knew had learned about sex by finding interesting things in their own homes, and having at least one parent who was comfortable explaining what was going on.

The more people I talk to, the more I learn that this is not the case.

I was never, ever, ever ashamed of my sexuality. Any awkwardness or embarrassment growing up was a result of feeling like I didn’t fit in with the other kids, or feeling like they thought I was strange, and ugly.

Once puberty was full swing, and all of my girlfriends started getting it on at the tender age of fourteen, I knew I wasn’t ready, and really wasn’t interested. Everything I’d read sounded interesting and important, and the boys I knew at that time were mostly really awful. If it was going to happen, I wanted to be ready.

When that time came, I was almost eighteen. I’d switched from hanging out with gun-toting Jamaican drug dealers to really granola actors and musicians. I made my own appointment with my family doctor to discuss this matter, have my first pap, and go on the pill. I told my mother about this after the appointment. I bought condoms, and lube, and announced to my twenty four year old boyfriend (yikes, I know) that I was ready. I still think I deliberately chose this boyfriend as my first because I knew he’d know what he was doing.

My mother’s straightforward, open approach to sex gave me the confidence I needed to make clear decisions, and made me really curious and interested in understanding this aspect of my personality. I credit this for saving me from some pretty stupid decisions growing up. When I kept company with the aforementioned dealers, the pressure to drink and do drugs was constant at first, and I was interested in neither of those things. I quickly figured out that I could weld my virginity like some strange kind of trademark, and even went so far as to frequently wear white outfits. Soon, I was really novel in these circles, and some of the meanest mo-fo’s had my back (side). Nobody pressured me anymore, and in fact, they kind of found it endearing, I think. Every now and then I would throw them a bone and pretend that they had hot-boxed me, but I never got stoned with them. I later found out there was a pretty significant cash pool on who would take my virginity.

All this to say “thanks mom”. There’s so much more to learning about sex besides the basic biological function. They are still not allowed to teach sexual confidence, self-exploration, or the dynamics of sexual power in schools.

Towelhead made me realize, once again, how essential this really is.

I was so enthralled, and moved, that I Googled this movie after it ended, only to find that it was written and directed by Alan Ball.

Universe, I love your clever sense of humour.

Be advised, Towelhead is not for the faint of heart…it’s also based on the novel by Alicia Erian.