Keeping Up Momentum

keeping up momentum

My dream basement

When I get excited about something, it’s remarkably easy to focus and make great forward progress. I can work so efficiently I surprise myself, and things really get done. But then…then…how do you keep that spark alive? Keeping up momentum is one of the greatest challenges I face.

The result of that fizzle is a string of uncompleted projects, jobs that are half done, drawers that are half organized. I look around and I’m adrift in a sea of disarray. I feel overwhelmed by all that is left to do, and I just can’t seem to get on top of anything. Where was the fire that ignited each project in the first place?

Does this happen to you?

Last week we launched our new family business – a blog geared specifically towards people with kids in their lives, and a resource guide for families living in and visiting the Niagara Region. You can check it out at www.niagarafamilies.com. I’m really proud of it, and I think we will do well. When we first moved to the area, we noticed there isn’t anything like it, and so we created our own one-stop source for family fun. Today I sat down to write for the site, and it took literally FOREVER to churn out one post.

I get side tracked with this blog all the time too. I’d LOVE to be able to post once a day, like so many other bloggers that I admire. Maybe I worry too much about having something to say, but I find it impossible to keep up the writing momentum.

Perhaps I’m a little overextended, what with kids and homeschool? I thought homeschool was supposed to buy more freedom and flexibility?

My basement is a perfect microcosm for my life at large. First of all, it’s not my basement. It belongs to my in-laws who we are currently living with. Right now I’d describe that space as vast, under-used, overly cluttered, in need of serious organization, not functioning to its full capacity, and overflowing with treasure and possibility. Maybe I’m crazy, but I believe in my core that organizing that basement to the point where any one of our kids could wander there with sturdy shoes and a little supervision (never mind the fire marshal) would solve all of the problems that we have getting organized and motivated elsewhere. It would symbolize our life, in order. Each facet neatly labeled and easy to access. Each corner tidy and ready to be discovered and be useful.

There is one area of the basement that I most despise; the shelves that hold all of the items we are going to sell online. Not inventory items, but personal belongings that are no longer useful, that Nekky has deemed worthy of resale. The problem is, not a one of us has a moment to spare to get these items listed and out the door. It’s painful to look at things that we’ve moved from two separate residences sitting on those shelves, mocking me. If they were gone, there would be a fresh, empty wall of shelves for…something new. Something useful. Inventory that we could really sell, perhaps?

Are there studies that link your physical space with your functioning capacity? Is there a psychic/spiritual link to the neatness and order that exists in your foundation? There must be!

How the hell do I get started with organizing this basement disaster? How do I fill a new website with fun and interesting content this week?

It’s almost 2pm. I can only work until about 6pm. Panic is rising. I’m going to make a cup of tea, have a little piece of homemade brownie and turn to my 100 unopened emails from other blogs I follow for inspiration.

How do any of you keep motivated?

 

Class Dismissed

kidsfallpathweb

Some of you know us well enough to know that up until very recently, we were pretty die-hard city mice. One of the toughest parts of our decision to leave city life behind was leaving our beloved Waldorf school. Our whole family loved the place and I was so looking forward to sending Noah there too when the time was right.

We weren’t able to find any favorable alternatives to public school when we moved to the country in July of 2013. This is why we decided to home school our kids until a better solution presented itself, or until we were ready to travel the world as a family (our long-term dream). The role of teacher fell to me, while Nekky and Sarah both work at their own jobs full time. Fast forward eight months, and the time has come to assess where we are at with our plans and our goals. We aren’t ready to take on the world just yet, so what’s the plan for September?

I’ve really enjoyed our homeschool journey, and the freedom and flexibility it has offered us. However, there is so much that I can’t give the girls that they are missing out on. Trying to balance life, work, school, toddler-rearing, is truly exhausting, so I find myself just focusing on the basics in our classroom – covering the most rudimentary subjects, leaving little time for more creative pursuits or games. The girls get two lengthy outdoor recesses, and they are terrific playmates for one another, but it’s just not the same without classmates. They miss their peer group, and I miss the school community too. It was nice interacting with other humans each day, and I miss assemblies and parent nights.

Also, any parent knows that children behave much differently at home than they do when there is a teacher to impress, and classmates to surround them. Our girls are great, but managing their quirks and challenges became really taxing. I would never in a million years sign up to become a teacher in the conventional sense, I don’t have the patience to handle so many little personalities all at once. In fact, handling two is taking all the gumption I’ve got, and I adore those two people!

If we were travelling, if there were no other options to consider locally, I would continue on with homeschool in the fall, learning from the mistakes we made this year. We’d make sure there were extra curricular activities where we could make new friends, I’d change our scheduling to focus more on each girl for longer stretches, and I’d devote one day per week to games and creativity. I’d do a lot of things differently, but we found a very interesting school in town, and so we’re going to give it a shot in the fall.

These days, homeschooling is bitter sweet. I know the end is in sight, for now anyway, so I’m trying to really enjoy the time we have, and I’m trying to relax more and make sure the girls enjoy each day. Part of me is also looking ahead to a life where my focus shifts again to other work, and finally an opportunity to focus on my writing in a fresh new way. There are lots of things unfolding here, and it feels right on so many levels.

This time with my children has been beautiful, and so valuable – as challenging as it has been rewarding. I’m so grateful that we tried this, and I hope that the next time we open the books on homeschooling, we’re living on a beach in Thailand.

Don’t be afraid to deviate from what you thought was the best plan. We’re meant to bend and stretch and grow, and something better always lies around the bend.

Unbelievably Brave

Just when I thought that WE were the coolest parents in the world, I discover this via Upworthy

I wanted to badly to post a comment telling Jazz’s whole family, especially her, how absolutely amazing I think they all are.  I didn’t bother to add a comment on You Tube because of the epic number of stupid people who hide behind the Internet to spew hate and ignorance. Here’s hoping that my post might find it’s way back to this family.

To me, this is what family should be – you stick by each other with love and support as you deal with whatever struggles you are dealt. In cases like Jazz’s these struggles are rather extraordinary, but look how positive and brave she is! You can’t feel that way without a strong foundation. Bravo all of you for leading with love, and a strong sense of how important your family is. Without question, this would be our approach if any of our kids were transgendered. Children are our greatest blessing, our deepest lessons, and our only hope for saving this world we inhabit.

Children like Jazz are miracles who force us to look deep into our hearts. She deserves nothing but love and support and nurturing, and I hope she knows that there are many more people out there who would treat her with kindness than with hatred.

This family made me really hopeful about the world. Thank you all, where ever you are.

Jazz has become an advocate for trans kids everywhere, and her mom started the Trans Kids Purple Rainbow foundation to support transgendered youth and their families.

A Tuesday Anthem

My chalkboard drawing of Brigid

My chalkboard drawing of Brigid

Hello out there.

I’ve spent the better part of today steam cleaning a vomit swamp out of the broad loom in my daughters’ bedroom, and three of the six of us have fallen victim to some mysterious projectile-puke inducing evil.

I was going to write something pithy for you today, but when I finally sat down to crack open the computer, little Noodle crawled up into my lap, fished out a boob and passed out cold, thereby trapping me where I was until he reached a state of deep sleep. I sat there, staring out the back patio door at my field and my forest, feeling amused at the realities of parenthood, and a little wistful for the time I used to traipse through High Park and my Roncesvalles neighbourhood yearning for a family of my own.

My Patrick Watson-inspired Pandora playlist spun up a tune by Mumford and Sons that I hadn’t really listened to. I’m making it my new anthem, the timing and the message were so perfect. I was suddenly able to smell spring in the fresh air wafting down the stairs from the girls’ room. Here’s the song, live, followed by the lyrics. Here’s hoping you have a vomit-free day, and that you can catch the scent of spring on the breeze, wherever you are.

Awake My Soul – Mumford and Sons

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don’t know
My weakness I feel I must finally show

Lend me your hand and we’ll conquer them all
But lend me your heart and I’ll just let you fall
Lend me your eyes I can change what you see
But your soul you must keep, totally free
Har har, har har
har har, har har

awake my soul…
awake my soul…

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don’t know
My weakness I feel I must finally show
Har har, har har
har har, har har

In these bodies we will live,
in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love,
you invest your life

In these bodies we will live,
in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love,
you invest your life

awake my soul…
awake my soul…
awake my soul…
For you were made to meet your maker

awake my soul…
awake my soul…
awake my soul…
For you were made to meet your maker
You were made to meet your maker

Last Week in Links

Photo by Gordon Parks

Photo by Gordon Parks

First Kisses, Beautiful Ladies, Heart-Wrenching Tributes and Happy Families

Happy Monday, Lovers! And Happy St. Patrick’s Day to all of my Irish friends, especially my LBGTQ Irish pals.

I’m coming down off the high of what I’m calling ‘Toddlerpalooza”. Two of our favourite families joined us for a weekend of boisterous little-boy fun. It’s also been a slow start back to school (homeschool, that is) post March Break.

My week is shaped by many variables, but here are the online snippets that spoke loudest to me last week. Grab a whiskey or a gay-friendly beer and enjoy!

First Kiss by Tatia Pilieva

If you missed this video last week, please do watch it. In fact, if you watched and enjoyed it as much as I did, please watch it again. It’s inspired plenty of parodies, and some controversy when people realized it was an ad for an indie clothing company. This video features the first kiss between various strangers, and I don’t care if these people were models or actors, even when you’re on set kissing someone for the very first time is nerve-wracking and delightfully awkward. This video is beautiful, and funny, and really, really, really sexy. Here it is, and I’ve included a link below with a great post from the filmmaker who created the piece, explaining her inspiration and defining the project.

FIRST KISS from Tatia Pilieva on Vimeo.

Here are Tatia’s words on this piece from Huffington Post:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tatia-pilieva/the-story-behind-first-ki_b_4980015.html 

 

Gordon Parks’ Showgirls at Work and Play

This Life gallery from a 1958 edition of the magazine was sent to me by my dear friend Josh. It’s eye-candy of the most exquisite and decadent variety, and captures just the kind of behind-the-scenes magic that I will miss when I retire from show biz.

http://life.time.com/culture/showgirls-gordon-parks-color-photos-new-york-nightclubs-1958/#1

 

Just When You Thought You Were Over Deadwood

I’ve tried for years to make peace with the fact that Deadwood, the mind-blowingly fantastic HBO series, was gone and would never return. Nothing I have seen in the world of television can touch this show, which is why I’m usually just fine to go without TV. I thought the hole in my heart had been filled with books, and more time for knitting, when along came this tribute from New York magazine’s TV critic Matt Zoller Seitz, which has made me want to sit down and watch the entire series for a fourth time. His compelling video essay can be found in this great write up Roger Ebert:

http://www.rogerebert.com/mzs/a-lie-agreed-upon-david-milchs-deadwood

A LIE AGREED UPON: DAVID MILCH’S DEADWOOD from RogerEbert.com on Vimeo.

 

News on the Family Front

I saw this next video posted on Facebook, and I thought the timing was uncanny. When asked why we went public with the story of our non-conventional family, my partners and I came up with the perfect response. It’s simple – we think everyone with love in their hearts and the ability to create a loving home should be able to have a family. I don’t know if the people at Honey Maid care as much about family rights. Maybe they just realize what a wealthy demographic gay families are, unlike some idiot Arizona law-makers. At any rate, enjoy this touching commercial, and some witty remarks from Slate:

http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2014/03/11/gay_family_in_commercial_this_ad_with_gay_dads_is_intensely_moving.html

 

We’re Not Brave, These People Are

Our community of family and friends, and even a few kind strangers congratulated us on our bravery for coming out publicly. I don’t think we’re even a bit as brave as these incredible young parents. Heather Walker was outraged when photos of her son Grayson James were pulled down from Facebook because they were ‘offensive’. Her little boy was born with a severe deformity, where he was missing part of his skull, and his mamma shared photos of him without his tiny little cap on. She and her husband knew that when their baby was born, they would only have moments to enjoy him, and that he was not going to survive. Still, they cherished and loved him, and then had the courage to create this incredible tribute video of his few precious hours of life. We should all cherish each moment of our precious lives, and our precious families. I hope this will inspire you the way it inspired me. I think these parents are heros because they faced such a devastating tragedy with so much grace and love.

This video is highly emotional, so kindly be your own judge about whether or not you’d like to view it.

Sending you all light and love, and wishes for a beautiful week ahead.