Cat Skinner Club

Sex and the Single Parent, And ME!

When I was in my second year of college, studying theatre, I had a rock-star-level crush on this girl named Melissa Story who was in first year. Or maybe I was in third year, and she was in second year. It was theatre school, I partied a lot and some details are fuzzy. At any rate, I clearly remember her leggy gorgeousness, and the mane of wispy, wild, naturally blonde curls, and her huge and wise grey-blue eyes. Her sense of style was impeccable. She was like a fashion model, straight out of an issue of Harper’s Bazaar, circa 1970 something. The thing with this girl was that she was not only gorgeous, but incredibly talented too. So talented, in fact, that I had no idea why she was paying for school in the first place. Why wasn’t she in L.A. or New York, looking for work? She had that natural ability that just can’t be taught. She slipped in and out of characters so seamlessly; you forgot you were watching someone act. What’s more, she was funny as shit. Like incredibly quick-witted and shamelessly goofy funny. The best kind of funny, and the hardest kind too, particularly for women who are taught to behave like beautiful, leggy, natural blondes ‘ought to’ right from birth. I was so crushing on this girl, I think she thought I had some special needs because I could barely utter a word to her. Sigh.

So when your hottie hot former girl-crush ends up with her own awesome and successful podcast (because she continues to kick ass and take names as a fierce single mom comedy boss) and she asks you to be a guest, there is only one right answer. As a bonus, her host is another kick-ass, hilarious single mom, who if I may say so, is also easy on the eyes. If you like that sort of thing. Their show/comedy site is called Sex and the Single Parent, and I was delighted to be invited to talk about poly parenting and my life philosophies.

Never mind that my ex-crush had the flu and couldn’t make the recording. Never mind that an equally huge crush from high school, Mr. Phil Luzi ends up being the guest host (wtf Universe??). Never mind that the co-host of Melissa’s show is Precious Chong, the daughter of Tommy Chong, a detail I found out after the recording, thus saving me from acting like a blathering idiot. I was honored and proud to be a guest on Sex and the Single Parent, and I had an incredible time with my gracious hosts. They asked truly respectful and genuine questions. I’m sorry I couldn’t see you in real life Melissa. If you want to sit across the table from me and listen to more juicy details about my wonderful family, you’re going to have to come out for drinks with me and my partners. Just kidding. Not really. We won’t try to sleep with you. Much.

Please enjoy this wonderful interview, and keep listening to this super fun podcast for other great guests, and plenty of opportunities to snort commuter coffee out of your nostrils.

To Listen Click Here.

How Will You Be Reborn?

Those Muslims are really on to something. They celebrate their New Year with Navroz, which falls right around the Spring Equinox, a time of year that I find rejuvenating and inspiring. Forget the dead of winter, when any resolution you may make will be cast aside in favor of lethargy and residual holiday treat consumption. Even the Pagans got it wrong; in October, when everything is dying, they celebrate their New Year with Samhain. I suppose the idea of your own mortality can be motivating, but c’mon! Is there anything that says let’s clean out the cobwebs in our souls and start again, all shiny and new, like the return of sunshine and warmer weather? Not in my books, and not after the psychic shit show that was my winter.

So, here I am, feeling much shinier, and thick in the throes of purging and organizing, both inside and out. I’ve done some intense personal work with my trusty therapist, and now I’m working on a slew of personal projects that nearly all work-related. I’m ‘Choosing Myself’ as per the wise and wacky Mr. James Altucher, but more on him later.

One of my commitments this month is to post every single day. That’s right, every day. I’d really like to see your comments here on the blog too friends, so if you’re reading please leave a little something. Let’s turn this into a community of inspiring, like-minded passion-chasers, yes? Thank you in advance mom, for always adding comments.

I will borrow my New Year from my Muslim family, and start fresh this April. I’d like to be a more focused, more driven, more present me. I’d like to keep the momentum going with my personal growth and smote those inner demons once and for all. I want time for writing every single day. I want to finally publish the sex and relationship guide I wrote for average dudes in committed relationships. I want to inspire you, and help you, and share my love and ideas with you. I want to enjoy the miracle of Spring with my beautiful family.

Okay, now it’s your turn. Leave me a little note in the comments section and let me know how you will be reborn this Spring!

P.S. I’m pregnant again

 

 

P.S.S. April Fools!

More Sexy Role Play

Photo by Richard Northwood

Photo by Richard Northwood

It seems like sexy role play scripts are a huge hit with my readers! Your enthusiasm has inspired me, so here’s another scenario for you to try out at home. When introducing role-play, it’s important to have a trusting relationship with your partner, so you are both free to really experience the characters you are creating, and to really explore the scenario at hand. I always recommend a SAFE WORD. This is a totally neutral word, a word that has nothing to do with sex, that both partners can recognize as a pause button. The safe word can be used at any point, and you can resume play when the issue that led to the safe word has been resolved. The following role-play script can be adapted to suit any sexual preference or combination of players. 

I Was Your Teacher

The teacher/ student scenario is a classic that you can breathe new life into each and every time. The sheer volume of trashy school girl costumes available on the Internet indicate that this is a very popular role-play theme, so how can you bring this one to life in the comfort of your own home?

Costumes:

STUDENT
Female: plaid skirt or kilt, knee socks, white button-down shirt, a neck tie in coordinating colours, a coordinating cardigan, simple Mary Jane style shoes, fresh and clean under things like a white cotton bra and panty set, book bag, consider glasses, bubble gum

Male: twill pants in a dark colour, collared shirt or button down in white, tie, dark shoes, white boxer briefs

TEACHER

Male: button-down shirt (plaid perhaps), corduroy sport jacket with elbow patches, trousers, tie, glasses

Female: pencil skirt, button-down shirt or blouse, stockings, pumps, lacy lingerie, string of pearls, glasses

HAIR AND MAKEUP

STUDENT

japanesegirl sexy-school-girl

 

Female: neat and clean if your student is relatively “innocent” – pig tails or a crisp pony tail, fresh, natural makeup, subtle lip gloss or go over-the-top if your student is a “bad girl” – heavy eyeliner, dark lipstick, over-styled hair

Male: decide if your student is a good boy or a bad boy – clean cut and clean-shaven for good boy, messy/styled hair and stubble for bad boy

TEACHER

Female: subtle makeup and red lips, elegant perfume, nicely manicured hands, hair in an up-do that can easily be let down

Male: some stubble or facial hair, consider Old Spice cologne

VISUAL AIDS/INSPIRATION:

Makeup Tutorial:
STUDENT
Thank you Miss Jessica Harlow for being so darn cute, and for furnishing us with this lovely fresh, clean makeup look:

TEACHER
I love that when I search for “Sexy Librarian Makeup Tutorial” on YouTube I can actually find such a thing! EnCore is just too cute, and his extensive tutorial will satisfy you makeup junkies:

 

SETTING THE SCENE:

sexy-teacher-sensual-desire-1280x800

How have teacher and student ended up alone together? Is your student the only student in detention that day? Did the student stay after class to clean the black board brushes? Find a space in your home that you can easily transform into an imaginary classroom. Some great possibilities include an office with a desk, or a dining room with a large table. With a little imagination, these rooms can become the teacher’s office or the school library.

Decide who is going to seduce whom before creating this scenario. Teacher/student role-play is hot no matter who initiates, and the power play can go back and forth. Regardless of who is taking the lead, decide that this is the first sexual encounter between these two characters. This will guarantee maximum sexual tension.

Some Suggestions:

Consider how each of your characters feels about the scenario. Is your student happy or annoyed to be in class/ at school after hours? Does your teacher feel annoyed at having to stay with a student, or are they eager for the opportunity?

The student can play oblivious to the teacher’s advances at first, forcing the teacher to be truly brazen in their seduction. This works well too if the teacher feigns ignorance in the face of the student’s come-on.

If you are the female student, consider sitting at your ‘desk’ with your knees apart just far enough to let your teacher catch a glimpse up your skirt, and act as though you have no idea you’re flashing teach (or act like you know exactly what you’re doing if it suits your character).

As teacher, if this is a detention scenario, think of some clever punishments for your naughty student. Perhaps they have to dust and polish your desk while you’re sitting at it. Maybe they will have to shine your shoes, or spend some time on their knees filing some papers for you. You might be an old school disciplinarian and decide to hand out some corporal punishment by way of a sound spanking. See the props list below for some more inspiration.

The student may have some embarrassing/compromising contraband in their school bag that their teacher discovers and makes them use either solo or together for both to enjoy.

OTHER TIPS:

*Remember to use your safe word if anything becomes uncomfortable about this role-play scenario

*Neckties make great bondage gear

*A shiny apple could make a great ball gag substitute

*Compliment each other as you enjoy how hot you are together. Be dirty with the compliments. We all love to hear these things, believe me.

PROPS:

Wooden rulers
Apple
Black board, chalk, eraser
Desk
Office chair
School bag
Mini vibrator
Lube
Small flask or soda bottle filled with alcohol

I’d love to hear your feedback! Send me an email or share in comments below. If you have a variation of this scenario that you can recommend, please share it with us.

Send me some suggestions for fantasies that you would like to have scripted!

Enjoy the fantasy. You deserve it.

Petting the Kitty

Hello lovers and fighters!

I’ve been poring through a sea of emails and have noticed two very cool things: my readers are obviously varied in age, and lots of women are asking me about masturbation.

I think for many of us, early messages regarding self-pleasure are pretty negative. It’s possible that we got a lot of “don’t touch that” or “don’t do that” or worse, depending on the parents who raised us. My savvy parent friends now are using phrases like “that’s a nice thing to do, but it’s for when you are having private time alone.” These moments make my heart swell.

I believe that everyone should masturbate, and I would even go so far to say that if this is something you are new at, you should make it a daily practice in self-exploration. Maybe orgasm doesn’t need to be the end goal? Imagine if you just set aside some quiet time to get to know your body?

If feeling sexual or sexy challenges you, this is a great way to change the way you view yourself and your body. Once you get very familiar with how all of your equipment works, you’ll have more confidence in your sex life at large.

Betty Dodson is a personal hero, and she’s like the “grandmother of masturbation”. She’s dedicated her life to teaching women how to orgasm, and I’d say that’s a fairly noble cause.

Each of us are different. We’re each going to enjoy different styles of self-pleasure, and we’ll each require different enhancements (toys, music, candlelight, reading material, etc.) and different degrees of speed and pressure. I say work to understand what works for you, and beyond that, I’ll hand you over to the expert.

Betty Dodson writes about first time orgasm here.

Lube is essential, especially if you’re new to orgasm. We need to keep lubed up in order to avoid chafing, and if you aren’t having any kind of partner sex, I think the oils that Betty recommends are fine. These will break condoms though, so please keep that in mind! I would recommend a water-based lubricant which is perhaps more versatile than oil. Silicone based lubes are also great, but should not be used with silicone toys, as they can break down the silicone these toys are made of.

Another thing I’ve observed is that sometimes trying to masturbate can put you under pressure, and frustration can build as your orgasm seems more and more evasive. It can take many women 15 to 20 minutes or more to reach climax, and because none of us are made the same, this will of course vary. A sexy, stimulating distraction or enhancement can make all the difference in heightening stimulation. The brain is a very powerful sex organ, and I’ve known lots of women who love to get off by stimulating themselves and reading erotica, or watching porn.

Be aware that ‘numbing out’ can lead to frustration. Numbing out is what happens if you’ve applied the same kind of stimulus to the same spot for so long that you start to lose feeling altogether. It’s an easy fix – change your speed, pressure,technique, and the location where you are directing the attention or pause for a moment until feeling starts to return.

I imagine this is a very different feeling for each of us, but I’ve always described an orgasm like a sneeze – you feel a building of pressure (the pre “achoo” feeling) and then a release which can either be like a burst of energy, or like free-falling backwards off a cliff into a pool of warm water. It’s possible to get close to orgasm and think that you’ve enjoyed the full experience, but there is a marked difference between the pleasure of pressure building and the immense pleasure of release.

I hope that helps answer some questions. Happy exploring ladies. Even if you’re enjoying regular sex with a partner, some good old fashioned self-love is always a beautiful thing.

Boredom Busters!

boredom

We’ve still got a month of summer fun, but I’m sure there are days where you wish school was back in session. Here are some fun activities designed for kids who are reading age and older. The idea is for them to stay engaged independent of much adult intervention, but if you’re feeling inspired, they are also great activities to enjoy together. 

  • Choose a story from your favourite book of myths, fairy tales, or folk tales and create a play to tell this story where you perform as all of the characters! Use music, musical instruments, dance or cirque as part of the play. Raid the dress up bin for costumes and props. Choose a day to present the play to family and friends, either indoors or out, depending on the weather. Create invitations and deliver them by hand or by mail.
  •  Choose a species of  local butterfly or insect to research at your neighbourhood library . Using craft supplies, create some butterfly or insect specimens and build a habitat from a shoebox. Do a scientific presentation about your species of butterfly or insect one night after dinner for your family.
  • With a grown up choose a day to help them plan and make dinner, including a dessert. Before the day of the dinner, decide on the menu together, get groceries, and create invitations. Plan a beautiful table setting and make some decorations. On the day of the dinner have the grown up teach you how to cook the meal. The other grownups can do all of the clean up that night.
  • On a non-rainy day, use your sidewalk chalk to transform your driveway into a city street. Include shops, offices, banks, and other places to stop and see. Use your bicycles to tour through the city, pretending you’re on motorcycles. Make sure you wear a helmet!
  •  Choose two of your friends who you are missing most and write each of them a letter that includes a drawing of what your summer has been like so far. Ask your parents to help you get your friends’ mailing addresses.

Make sure you take photos of your munchkins hard at work on their projects!